He made me more attractive

[Sorrowfulsoul]

So when me and him met I was a party girl with blonde hair, dressed in dresses etc and not chubby but a bit curvy. Now I’ve had a baby naturally lost loads of weight, have dark hair etc dress more mum like. And Today he said to me “he made me more attractive” I asked how do you make someone more attractive he said “I just did make you more attractive look at you” I said that’s such a narcissistic thing to say and he said it’s true you got with me and became more attractive and he was looking at me as if I’m stupid

Are you looking for opinions on his comments?

IMO sounds a bit like negging or a backhanded compliment. Personally I’d say something like I always looked great but if I look better now it’s mostly down to changes I’ve made. Not you.

Perhaps ask him why he feels that comment was even necessary?

It’s a narcissistic and emotionally stupid comment, yes. The sort of comment only a very dense and inept person would make.

What's he like generally?

How do you feel about the changes you've made generally?

It's an odd thing to say. He's either a complete dick or he's trying to reassure you that he finds you even more attractive now in your darker haired, mum days than he did in your blonde haired party girl days? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean, I wouldn't like it. But some people are shit at giving compliments so I'm just trying to find a possible positive before all the LTBs kick in...

In making that stupid comment, he made himself less attractive.

Funny that.

Wow he's a keeper,

Only you know whether it’s a clumsy attempt at a compliment or he’s being an arrogant twat.
You’ve grown up and your style had changed. That’s a natural evolution nothing to do with him

That’s a natural evolution nothing to do with him

This.

But it's also an evolution that might not have happened if you hadn't met him, settled down and had a baby.

Urgh! He’s made himself a lot less attractive with that comment. Dickhead.

For a backstory refer to my other post. But his said this before so it’s not the first time he does say such things he will also say everything about you is all me I made you like this etc
if you ever be with someone else they will be with my version of you etc.

I mean I feel like I made the choices to change.

@JaxiiTaxii Ha! Isn't it just!

He sounds terrible.

I'm not going to start searching for your previous posts.

If you want people to respond to the full story, you need to share it.

if you're not happy, leave.

⛳️

Have you always been attracted to stupid men?

Relationships really shouldn't be this complicated, if you have to ask strangers on the internet for help deciphering a conversation with your own partner you know you have the wrong partner.

What an arsehole

Oh — I’d have taken that as a compliment! Even if he was giving himself the credit. But I suppose it depends if his usual attitude to you is appreciative or not.

I second this.
If there's more then you need to post it here.

He's saying that since he made you a mum (and you changed your style) he finds you more attractive. It's a bit childish but seriously not a big deal.

He's not saying he made attractive. He said more attractive. He's more attracted to you.

I find that very weird. He clearly believes it, rather than clumsy wording.

does he say other weird/narcissistic things? He think you’re a doll or something.

if you ever be with someone else they will be with my version of you etc.

Keep making those comments pal and you n your right hand will be best buddies

He seems to view you as some sort of possession, like a car to which he has attached go-faster stripes and alloy wheels. There seems to be no awareness that you are a person in your own right and not one of his belongings.

Ok, so I read your post from the other day. You seriously need to kick this guy out. It's that simple.

He's a walking red flag.

Do not, I repeat, do not, let him have keys or put him on paperwork when you get a new rental.

This! Congrats on being a hot mama, maybe someone else will appreciate you more. Don't waste it on him.

Oh op, you’ll look back in ten years and think “What the fuck was I thinking?!” I sincerely hope so anyway.

You have to leave because if you don’t you’ll become ill. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your DC.

He’s manipulating you. Imagine if the situation was reversed and you’ll see how ridiculous this is. You have a lot of work to do on yourself because even if he was half as useless it would be totally unacceptable. I fear you’d accept less than you deserve because you’ve become so used to this waste of space. Are you from an abusive background? Often we become so used to being treated badly that we accept it because we think it’s normal.

I would do some research on abuse and do the Freedom Programme. I suspect this man is a fragile narcissist. You on the other hand are doing brilliantly! You’re working, looking after your child, doing all the chores….you’re very capable but you have to take very good care of yourself to enable you to continue to do all this. So many abused women I know have had their health destroyed.

He doesn’t love you…he despises you or he wouldn’t treat you with such contempt. Please leave him!!!