I posted about this a few months ago ...here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2724&threadid=446991#9046170
We've now received an invitation to the wedding and have said we won't be going - cost being the main factor.
But the bride-to-be has suggested that dh goes on his own, saying "there won't be many family there".
Although I'd suggested that possibility to dh originally, in retrospect, that wasn't a great idea...and I'm really not happy about him:
a) using joint holiday budget to go
b) ditto taking up joint holiday time just after Christmas, leaving me at home with dc.
Dh is quite down about it - he doesn't like upsetting people - but I can't pretend I'd be ok with it when I really wouldn't be...in fact I'd be quite pissed off at being forced to not have a holiday together.
It is causing tension in our relationship, but I think it's too much of a compromise for me to say yes to him going alone.
I think the in-laws will paint me as the bitch who's stopped dh going to his relative's wedding - even though its many thousands of miles away...they'll certainly put pressure on him which will make him more unhappy.
There will be a party at home when they return, and of course we'll go to that.
What would you do?