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Original poster

What to do with engagement ring?

26 replies

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 11/10/2023 00:19

I broke up with ex partner coming up to 2 years ago. Together 6 years, engaged the final year or so.
I still have my engagement ring, offered it him back at the time but he didn’t want it (neither of us knew what the protocol was on this, if there even is one!) but it’s just sitting in the bottom of my wardrobe.
As engagement rings go, it wasn’t expensive, it’s like new as I lost a stone within a few weeks of having it, so it went to be replaced, came back fixed and polished up and I never wore it after that.
I absolutely love it, it’s very my taste (I did choose it in fairness!) but I’m not a jewellery person at the best of times, plus it would be odd to wear it now!
So what do I do with it?!

OP posts:
NutellaNut · 11/10/2023 00:28

Why not wear on the other hand if you love it as a piece of jewellery? I’m not very sentimental, so its origins wouldn’t bother me. I’d still defo wear mine if I could get it on my fat finger!

Tryingandfailingagain · 11/10/2023 00:37

Honestly I would give it back to him. Let him sell it or whatever. Personally, I’d never wear it in those circumstances. Also, “not expensive” is very subjective, and we’re in a cost of living crisis… so….. I just would give it back.

MrsClatterbuck · 11/10/2023 00:38

Two women I know had their engagement rings reworked into two totally different rings. That could be a possibility.

bronkie · 11/10/2023 00:44

Has it got any decent stones to rework? You could also sell on E bay or Marketplace.

AbbeyGailsParty · 11/10/2023 02:29

Sell it or donate it to a charity.

anareen · 11/10/2023 02:32

Sell it? He clearly didn't want it. No sense in revisiting that avenue after so long. Technically wouldnt it be considered a gift...... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Millybob · 11/10/2023 03:00

Really you should give it back to him, it's a gift given in expectation of marriage; you could always return it by registered post with a note.

greenspaces4peace · 11/10/2023 03:48

have it reworked into a necklace/earrings or save the gem stones for your future children or grandchildren.
my grandmother found a diamond ring which she eventually gave to my father to give to my mother.
i inherited my grandmothers ring which i gave to my eldest (who had it reset for his fiance).
oh and a platinum and diamond eternity ring that was given to me was passed onto my youngest as a wedding band for his fiance.
i have reworked parts into diamond ear rings.
little gestures which can help out future kids financially.

Skethylita · 11/10/2023 04:17

I just wear mine, among a few other rings. It's a piece of jewellery we attach way too much meaning to.

If a future partner has an issue with that they're welcome to replace it with an even more gorgeous piece 😆

Wtfnowseptember · 11/10/2023 04:40

Definitely sell it. I wore mine on my other hand for a bit, which was actually quite weird looking back.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 11/10/2023 04:42

Sell it.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 11/10/2023 04:49

I saw someone giving their engagement ring away on a fb barter site. Her exfiancè had been a dick and she didn't want the ring any more. Lots of people suggested selling but she was adamant she didn't want to know its 'value'. I can't remember what she accepted as a barter but there was a lot of joy in freeing herself. (Also some pleasure that the ex would have been horrified.)

Onthemaintrunkline · 11/10/2023 07:26

I think you should return it. The ring was given with the expectation of marriage, the marriage didn’t happen, should you really keep it as a result of that?

Heyhoherewegoagain · 11/10/2023 07:28

Someoneonlyyouknow · 11/10/2023 04:49

I saw someone giving their engagement ring away on a fb barter site. Her exfiancè had been a dick and she didn't want the ring any more. Lots of people suggested selling but she was adamant she didn't want to know its 'value'. I can't remember what she accepted as a barter but there was a lot of joy in freeing herself. (Also some pleasure that the ex would have been horrified.)

Love this!

Original poster
Isanyonereallyanonymous · 11/10/2023 07:56

Lots of interesting and different ideas!

As per my OP I offered it back at the time of the breakup, whilst I say I broke up with him, it was mutual (turns out he was buying a flat anyway so he clearly had no plans to stay!) and I now have no idea where he lives and no contact with him so not an option.

It cost £400, still a good chunk of money but not ££££’s like a lot of engagement rings. I’ve slightly presumed that second hand it won’t have much value at all? It’s not a very fashionable piece.

I don’t wear jewellery so wearing it on another finger wouldn’t be something I’d do (plus I’d find it weird!)

I like the thought of having it reworked into something else, although the money isn’t there for that at the moment but it might be an option for future.

Otherwise a charity donation would make me feel good - is there one that might be better to pick than another for where to donate it to?

OP posts:
51andFabulous · 11/10/2023 09:04

I took my engagement ring to a shop to sell it, I was surprised at how little it was worth (cost about £1.3k, they offered me about £70). I had the receipt and certificate. The jeweller advised me to try and sell it privately as I would get more. I've stuck it back in the drawer! I like to look at it occasionally and remind myself of how much happier I am these days Smile

villamariavintrapp · 11/10/2023 09:53

Just keep it, rework it later if you want. A charity won't get much for it either.

PaterPower · 11/10/2023 11:37

You’ll only get the scrap value of the gold and maybe a little for the stone on top. If it was £400 new then it’ll be in the tens of pounds as secondhand.

harerunner · 12/10/2023 06:06

ItsGreyNotBlack · 11/10/2023 03:44

Keep, it was a gift. I’m no legal expert, but sure I’ve read that legally you can keep it
https://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/blog/engagement-rings-and-the-law/

I'm not sure why you'd ever entertain the possibility that it wasn't a gift she was legally entitled to keep enough.

Can you imagine an ex-fiancé going to court to try and get it back?

Simonjt · 12/10/2023 06:09

I kept mine as I really liked it, it then became my wedding ring when I married my now husband, I had chosen it as I wanted to wear it everyday, I didn’t see the point of selling or not wearing something I liked.

Wannabegreenfingers · 12/10/2023 07:03

This. Most ring's are worth very little. It makes you wonder why we spend £££ in the first place, if at resale they are worth a fraction of their original cost.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/10/2023 09:29

I moved mine to another finger

ive branded it as ‘thanks for giving me two kids’ ring

Cumbrianlife · 12/10/2023 09:35

I think many people are shocked at how little intrinsic value their very expensive ring has. Unless I sold it privately, I'd probably keep it and gift it to my niece for a special birthday.

Cumbrianlife · 12/10/2023 09:36

@Thisisworsethananticpated I once heard this situation later described as a maternity ring.