This is a bit of a long one but bear with me. I had my DD last year; a month before I was due to give birth, my mum, who lives abroad, came to stay with us to help with the baby. She didn't like living here, she was often moody, she said that she was here for the baby, not for me, this made me feel sad, she apologised but then she said the same later. I had a tough pregnancy, I desperately needed a mum, we had lived in different countries for nearly 18 years at that point, so perhaps this played a part too, but her behaviour during her stay sometimes made me feel lonely. My partner didn't get on with her because of this, one evening after the baby arrived she said the same thing again (bearing in mind I was recovering from a c-section and suffering from post natal anxiety at this time), he said that this is not a nice thing to say and it escalated to an argument. After that, my mum decided to go back home, she left on good terms with me, or so I thought, but not with my partner.
Just before she left, I had signed up for mental therapy for my anxiety as it was getting out of control, I couldn't be alone in the room, I lost appetite, etc., she knew I was unwell but after she left, she didn't contact me for 3 months, not even to ask about her grandchild, it was always me initiating contact. I felt totally abandoned, I can't explain it, I wasn't alone in the real sense, I had my baby and my partner but something in me felt really empty.
She saw us 3 months later, and she made it clear that she wasn't happy I didn't stand up for her during that argument with my partner, she called me ungrateful and stupid like him, this is despite the fact that she supposedly left on good terms with me. I decided to limit contact then on advice from my therapist, to avoid drama in my still fragile state. At that point, my mum still hadn't asked me if I was ok physically or mentally.
Fast forward 2 years, she's started to show more interest in my DC, asking to FaceTime, etc., she wants my DC to know and recognise her, now that my DC is more aware of people, but I feel like my mum doesn't deserve my DC.
I am fine now, back to my old self but she left me in my most vulnerable state despite the fact that I supported her for years emotionally and financially.
So my question is - would you forgive and forget? Or would you sort of rekindle the relationship but keep this at the back of your mind?