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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To take him back

7 replies

Lotus125 · 10/10/2023 16:01

I am a single full time working mother and met another man when my DS was 2, we moved in together near his home town (he lives in the countryside and I was from the city). He helped me with DS in that he would look after him in the evenings and put him to bed if I had to go into the office which would be once a month. Other than that, I did all parenting, nursery/school runs, we shared cooking and housework but it was largely me say 70/30 split as I WFH. We broke up as I felt unloved/unsupported and he felt unappreciated - plus he hates my family which put a big strain on us and caused lots of arguments - I am really close to them and they are a big support to me. I have since moved out, bought my own place and am quite content living with my DS. He wants us to try again but I am unsure. If I do, I wouldn't want to live with him again but have more bf/gf relationship rather than live in partner. I feel like anyone I know has a biased view on this situation so asking here. BTW my son now has a really good relationship with his birth father and sees him every other weekend so has a good male role model in that sense.

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 10/10/2023 16:06

This fella sounds more like a shag-buddy than anything else. Which is fine, but don’t let anything going on with him stop you focussing on yourself and ds.

Pinkbonbon · 10/10/2023 16:07

Don't do it.

He hates your family. Too much potential for drama amd suffering. You're out now, keep out of it.

Block him, move on.

Octobermeterreadtime · 10/10/2023 16:09

Bloody hell keep him away op...

Blough · 10/10/2023 16:10

Neither of you felt appreciated last time you dated, now you’ve bought property and he’s sniffing around? Nah. Only accept an excellent, quality man in future if you need to date, and keep your home as your own.

EscapetotheShatto · 10/10/2023 16:10

Embrace your life now, enjoy being content, enjoy the peace of no-one dissing your source of love and support and listen to that thing that's making you feel unsure.

Newestname002 · 11/10/2023 16:48

What positives would this man bring into your life OP? The big thing is he hates your close family, he left you feeling "unloved/unsupported", you did the majority in of the chores. What would your son gain from this relationship?

I'd be inclined to leave things as they are. It sounds like you are doing well - you've even bought your own own home and are content. Why upset the apple cart for no good reason? 🌹

B1rd · 11/10/2023 23:12

Always move forwards. Never go backwards.

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