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Relationships

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Original poster

Is this even fair ?

6 replies

Summerberry22 · 10/10/2023 10:17

So me and my partner have got kids but my youngest is 1 at the moment so not in nursery yet and my 3 year old only does 15 hours a week and I’m wanting to get qualifications myself just to get on a pathway to open up my own shop/business and I have asked my partner if he could just work part time so he does half of the week and I do another half .
He says to me “what do you want me to do ,just ask my job if I could do fewer days ? No I’m not doing that “

is that even fair ? I know he loves his job and making money a lot but I just want to be able to get a qualification myself and do something for myself , I feel like it should be equal no ? Or ?

OP posts:

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 10/10/2023 10:19

Are you reliant on his income? Could you not study in the evenings/weekends? When I've studied as an adult it's been alongside working full time as simply couldn't afford to otherwise.

Hallmark1234 · 10/10/2023 10:21

I don't know what your partner's job is, or how easy it would be for him to go part time, but if he is fully supporting you financially while your children are so young, could you not wait a couple of years until the youngest is in nursery and get your qualifications then?

Opentooffers · 10/10/2023 10:29

So if he is making a lot of money why not put your DC's in nursery more? You seem to just be utilising the free hours at the moment. I carried on working full time so my DC was in nursery from 5 months old. Being 1, so not in nursery yet, does not fit your needs. Sounds like he can afford to pay for nursery so he can work work the hours, they are his DC too, so he should do that as half responsible.

Whattodo112222 · 10/10/2023 10:37

Could you afford the drop in income? Its not as easy as just asking to go part time. What about the financial implications if you're fully reliant on his income?

Quitelikeit · 10/10/2023 10:40

colleges can offer free childcare under certain circumstances so you’d be better off calling your local one to see what the eligibility is

You could also go to college in the evening

GingerIsBest · 10/10/2023 10:43

So when he goes part time, will you be studying with the freed up time or will you be bringing in income?

I think it's not unreasonable for you to say that you want the opportunity to work and earn money, but it is not really fair for you to insist that he works part time to accommodate this. Rather, as a couple you should be figuring out th best solution - perhaps that you start paying for childcare to free up time for you to study as the long term benefit of you then earning will help the whole family.

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