Is he confused or ??....

[username0202]

3 year relationship ended 2 months ago. A Close work colleague was there for me every day, known eachother years but after the breakup was in touch daily. We bonded. He helped my confidence. We met up had drinks out last week. I've never really been attracted to him but I was and he made it clear he liked me more than a good friend. We ended up kissing amongst other things not sex tho. He's told me numerous times he really likes me and wants to look after me protect me etc as I am a single mum. He doesn't have any kids. He seems to understand me on a level that other men haven't before.
So we have both expressed we have feelings for each other . But he's got a LD girlfriend who lives abroad; he's told her about me and she's forgiven him apparently. She's 26 and is apparently wanting to move over here but had her visa rejected. He's 37. I'm 36 and we both want kids
After the kiss , he's said he didn't regret it and feels bad for it and knows he's been unfaithful and is torn between me and his gf. It's changed our friendship which is sad but
I really like him and I've told him I'm not an option and I sent him the following message..

maybe you want to put some space between us ,to figure out things & what you want,as I do overall I want you to be happy but i feel like you need to go be alone in order to figure out what you want and I hope that I’m still here when you’re ready. But until then, I know that I need someone who is completely in because I wouldn’t want to try with someone who isn’t.

And he jus heart liked it and this was Saturday and nothing since. So he's said he's confused and he's torn. And now I'm in Limbo. Like I'm waiting for him to choose. And yes I understand there's zero certainty with me n him but obviously he's still for feelings for his gf.
So in my opinion if u know u want someone regardless if your with someone else or whatever situation you make it known. He said prior to this text message he knows he has to make a quick decision when it comes to me as I don't wait around.

So is he really torn or does he jus want his cake and eat it ?? As it's making me crazy and making me feel like a school girl 😣
Thanks

He wants his cake and eat it too; the lying cheat. Block and delete him now. Have no more to do with him going forward.

Be someone's priority rather than an option. You are an option to this person and I doubt very much that his long distance gf knows anything about you either.

I'm not sure why you'd even want to be with someone who can't choose between you and a person he never sees face to face, lives in another country and will likely continue to do so for an undetermined amount of time.

It should be a no brainer, the fact that it's not I think you should be finding more insulting than you are. I would never entertain the idea of being with someone who couldn't choose between me and his internet girlfriend.

Hmm, known each other years, so you didn't fancy him when you were last single, and neither did he you.
From the outside his motives look fishy, so I'd beware. It looks like he was making a b-line for you when you were at you most vulnerable. Daily contact is too much being around, and could be seen as love-bomby. He's put himself out there as a rock to cling to and not surprisingly, you've held on to it.
I think a break now could do yourself some good. Help you see if you like him after all for who he is, or if it just felt good to have the distraction from your prior loss.
Someone who jumps in to be a saviour to another, can turn out not to be the lovely person you think - the right thing is to hold back a bit and recognise that you'd need time to process your loss, but he hasn't, he went full steam ahead. I suspect within that he's told you lots of things that he thinks you'd like to hear, which is why he "gets you like no other".
Tell him you need time too, and see if he respects that - I have a feeling he won't which will be telling.
Meantime, go out with your own friends or make new ones.
He might not feel as strongly about you as you thought, he has perhaps been mirroring a lot. This LDR sounds like an excuse tbh. So step back to see how the dice falls.

OPPORTUNIST. These types are dangerous. No and next. He thought he might get sex out of you because you were down after your break up. If you’ve known him years, he would know if you were the the one and there’d be no messing about, he’d be pursuing like crazy. Just cut him off.

I think I've jus had a fukin brain wave 👋🏻! Thanks so much I thought it was this way. I don't want no man that is confused. So yes it's sad as I've lost a friendship but not that sad as I'm not an option and I said y get once chance with me. And in all
Honestly I think he loves the fact that two people were liking him and it made him
Feel powerful.
And like I put in that message to him, I need someone whose completely in.
I feel a little bit stupid but also I'm
Glad i won't tolerate childish behaviour.
Thankyou xx