So, I was with a guy, it didn't work out due to some circumstances, we decided to end things. Later on I discovered I was expecting his baby. It was a very difficult journey, he did not take the news well , he was frightened more than anything but insisted he'd stick by us when baby came along. I had a lot of hope. I was alone during the pregnancy and birth so he didn't keep to his word . Baby's dad kept in touch with me and interested in baby after birth, but it never went further. I believed so much he would step up and be the involved daddy he said he would. Despite difficulties, there was never animosity between us . I wonder to this day, is he just sweet talking but no intention of real action? He knows I'm always open to him seeing his child, but the time is ticking by now, its an on going thing..
Anyway... a few months after baby was born, his grandma ( Ex partner mum) comes on the scene. I never knew her before. I'm overjoyed thinking my child will have so much love from them and it will all turn out happy . I'd glady arrange visits but then... I notice some odd behaviour from grandma.....
She tells me a child's parents don't need to speak or have anything to do with eachother and that she would be arranging visits with baby and daddy (her son). I agreed with set up??, and allowed my child to go with her to visit his daddy . She started controlling these visits, often when it was childs and dad's visits, she'd say she can't have child. So my child missed out on seeing daddy. She started to control many things, but often in a subtle way, I'd be here all day explaining , it went on years, but she was clearly very jealous, always copying me, wanting to outshine me, any attempt at her son trying to step up as a dad, she seemed to crush. There was shit stirring, but although all this was going on, no matter how hard I tried to get visits for child and daddy it never happened. I believe some grandparents do things out of love but I feel she's toxic, jelous and competitive. I have a bad vibe and lots of stories about her. She doesn't follow diet rules (allerygy) telling child to keep secrets from me and making holiday arrangements with child before asking me. My child never sees his daddy now and I'm made out to look stupid for asking why. Grandma will allow her son (childs dad) to turn up when he pleases , once a year or so, with no prior contact phone etc. I resent her and cut her off, only sees grandchild occasionally but I'm blamed that child isn't seeing his dad properly because I don't give my child to grandma enough, there is so much more to this , but I always feel I'm doing wrong by my child?? Grandma wants child constantly, used to be plenty , it was never enough for her so it's cut down to about once a fortnight. Is my child missing out because of me?