Hello all.
Not sure if anyone can recall the several threads I started almost 4 years ago regarding my Son who was 12 at the time & his broken relationship with his Mum. I thought I would give an update as I had some really good advice on here which helped immensely.
A bit of a back story. My Son's Mum unfortunately got into a relationship with a Heroin user who she moved into her home after 2 weeks. My Son was living with her at the time & staying with me on a Saturday. There was a lot of distress caused to my Son. Social services were involved & eventually, I took care of him full-time. This wasn't the end though. His Mum ended up on substances & losing her home. There was a lot of heartache & ups & downs. A lot of contact with his mum with a lot of emotional abuse, manipulation & toxic behaviour but I kept my stance & proceeded to shield my Son as best as I could. Throughout all of this, he kept telling me that he didn't want to see her or have any contact & this is what I focused on.
His Mum eventually left this guy & moved to her Mum's quite a distance away. As far as I am away she sorted the substance abuse issue out although apparently she still smokes cannabis most nights. Last October my Son decided he wanted to see her at his older Sisters home. This didn't go well & he came out of it disappointed & upset. He then said he wanted no contact again.
So, the situation now is that my Son has left school & started College. He has had two separate counseling programs. One ran by his high school & another I found online. Both helped him immensely. His Mum is still living with her Mother & basically hasn't changed in terms of her inability to genuinely see & take responsibility. Any messages I get from her are highly emotionally charged & very manipulative. She has attempted to contact my Son directly through various social media platforms even when he has told her himself that he doesn't want to speak to her. So, I will continue supporting my Son as best as I can. I have since become engaged & my fiancee has a Son of a similar age who both get on really well together. We have all been away to Spain for a week which we thoroughly enjoyed & last year I bought my first home. My Son appears to be doing well. But I am fully aware that this whole thing is going to likely affect him throughout his life. But we will be OK.
Thanks, everyone for your support especially the people who commented on all my previous posts. :-)