Not sure what to think - head all over the place

[Jules008]

Hi,

not really sure how to deal with this

married to dh for 7 years and together for 12. We have 2dc’s

For the last few years, my husband has been studying for a Masters degree through his work. He works full time but was attending university once every couple of weeks. He also had to attend residentials at various points throughout the year. The course has now finished.

He became good friends with the people on his course, and they would have drinks together etc at each residential.

On some of the residentials, he shared a room with another guy who was employed by the same company as him. It wasn’t someone that he knew as his company has branches all across the UK.

To get to the point I noticed that my husband wasn’t being himself over the last few weeks. He seemed quiet and withdrawn, and it was obvious that something was on his mind.

He has finally told me that something happened on the residential last year, that he can’t stop thinking about, and feels guilty over.

One night after they all had drinks they went back to their rooms.

The guy that he was sharing a room with pulled out his laptop and started watching some porn. DH explained that Are you had a few drinks and although initially thought it was strange, he found himself watching the porn in the room with this other guy. This eventually led to them both lying on their beds and masturbating. I asked DH if he had cum and he said that they both did.

I just don’t know what to think about this. He promises me that they didn’t touch each other, but the thought of my husband lying in a hotel room masturbating alongside another man. Is it something I ever thought I’d have to deal with.

What would your thought process be? If you were in this situation?

I wouldn't be happy and would consider this cheating. The fact he's kept it hidden and felt guilty suggests he does too. But most importantly what do you feel about it?

How is relationship otherwise?

So a couple of blokes who don't know each other, just started wanking over watching porn in a hotel room (the porn I would consider cheating in itself but I know everyone has their own opinion on that).
Hardly attractive is it. I think I would be totally grossed out by that.
Its pretty fucking weird!

I mean, would you do the same? Sharing a hotel room with a female collegue you'd only just met and then the 2 of you start pleasuring yourselves?
Its really bloody odd.
And I reckon there is probably more to add to that than he has told you. They don't normally tell you the whole thing, just enough that they think you can handle. And often they weave in some truths and leave out major significant bits. Its a weird need to confess 'something' because they feel guilty, but you'll rarely get an actual full honest confession.
I'd be personally worried that the 'bloke got out his laptop and watched porn' was a watered down version of 'bloke hired a woman to come to his room'.
He feels guilty. Theres highly likely more to it than what he has told you. Sorry.