Apologies for the long post....
My husband and I separated at the beginning of the year - mainly his choice - after 19 years together.
I stayed in the family home with our 4 kids (3 of them teens, 2 of those SEN) and have had to pick up the pieces, while struggling with depression and anxiety and taking on a full time job.
Over the months, I have gradually come to terms with this new life and have felt much calmer and peaceful and have been able to see just how toxic our relationship was.
That is, until the last week. My son (8) went to stay with his dad last weekend and when he came home, he excitedly told me about meeting daddy's "friend" and her son.
I immediately text my husband saying I really hope he hadn't just introduced him to a girlfriend that I had no prior knowledge of.
He apologies and said they just happened to bump into each other at bowling but then proceeded to bowl together, play mini golf and go to mcdonalds. This screams bullshit to me but regardless, he apologised and said we could talk about it next time we saw each other.
Fast forward to last night, he dropped my daughter home, so I went to talk to him. He basically told me he met this woman on OLD and it's casual but her likes her. He's already told her things about him that very few people know, because it was a traumatic event for him which happened when we were already married, about 14 years ago. This event led him to stop trusting anyone (including me) and he withdrew from everyone completely. He refused counselling and refused to talk about it, yet he has already felt able to share it with her.
I feel sick to my stomach, heartbroken and rejected all over again and back to square one in healing. How can I get through this pain with dignity? It's so easy to go and meet new people with all the child-free time he has and money (much higher earner than me), whereas I don't have a spare moment to even think about that.
The thought of them together is consuming me and I can't sleep. Any advice gratefully received!