FWB/ situationship expectations.

[BLTpastasalad]

I’ve been seeing someone on a casual basis for a while. We get on well, laugh together a lot, have good sex and occasionally do something together like go for a meal etc. He often cooks for me, organises activities and texts to ask how I am or how my day is. The set up suits me as I have children and only see him when I’m not with them and he’s happy with that. I don’t bring him to my home.
I don’t know if he sees other women as I don’t ask and I feel like when we’re not together I have no place to pry into what he’s doing. He doesn’t ask me either. We are safe so I assume he would be with other women if sleeping with them.
The issue is that he never says anything that makes me feel he is attracted to me. I don’t know if it’s usual for a man to say “I think you’re hot” or “I really enjoyed sex with you” or similar if it’s just casual. It makes me feel like he’s not attracted to me which, although we’re not in a relationship, is a deal breaker for me. I want to know he’s sleeping with me because he’s attracted to me and enjoys having sex with me.
Maybe I’m looking for an unreasonable amount of validation from someone who has no responsibility to look after my feelings?
My friends have said that even when it’s been a one night stand that they usually tell each other that they fancy each other even if it’s something like “you’ve got great tits” or “wow” when the other gets naked.
Im ready for a flaming if I’m being too needy.

i think you’re overthinking this… you have an arrangement that suits you perfectly with someone you like who DOES nice little things for you and you are questioning it because he doesn’t SAY you’re hot? What does he do when you give him compliments? I agree it’s nice to hear these things but for some people they show it rather than say it. He wouldn’t keep seeing you if he wasn’t attracted to you and he certainly wouldn’t be going out / cooking for you if he didn’t enjoy your company.

I think I needed to hear this. He just sort of shrugs off compliments as if he doesn’t know how to respond so I compliment him less now as I think it makes him awkward.

I’m in a similar situation, although we were originally intending for more, but he realised he wasn’t in a good place mentally and dialled it back. He’d be happy with just friendship I think, and we both try and keep it that way, but then ‘accidentally’ end up having sex!

When I questioned things in the early days he assured me that he enjoys spending time with me and that he does find me attractive (“I wouldn’t be able to fake cumming would I?”) but he doesn’t really say anything about me being hot or beautiful etc.

I’ve told him how attractive he is a lot, but don’t really anymore, purely because I don’t want him to think I’m too keen! He’ll sometimes fish for a compliment and I oblige, and he clearly likes my boobs because that’s what seems to take it from friends watching TV to making out on the sofa! But I don’t really expect the stuff you get in a relationship as that’s not what this is. We’re friends first and foremost, with some sex that we both enjoy as a little bonus. Try not to overthink it and just enjoy all the good stuff while knowing you don’t have to put up with the shit bits of a relationship!