Had 2 dates - is he interested or not??

[Belleoftheball83]

Met a guy on a dating app about 6 weeks ago. Spoke for ages before I took the lead and suggested meeting. First date went well, second date followed this week. Amazing date (conversation never stopped, lots of fun) but no kiss, hug, handhold ... nothing. He seems really confident so I'd be surprised if it's shyness but did leave me wondering if he just didn't fancy me.

Anyway, he text me fairly soon after hinting he'd like a 3rd date which i responded positively to. He'd also been indirect after the first date. Since then, we've texted once a day but he's not suggested or mentioned a third date. He's a very slow texter (one message per day) but has no kids, and isn't working as he's self employed and got a few weeks before his next contract starts.

I know I could initiate a third date but I've done that with the last two and surely if he's interested, he would show some proactivity?

What do you think, wise Mumsnetters? Am I wasting my time?

I would leave it to him to suggest a another date don't chase it, you could message him about something just so he knows you are interested but other than that, you would want someone that seems as keen as you do. Keep him as an option but not your only one.

He has someone else

He's not interested, I'm afraid. He has the time and if he was interested, you'd know about it. He's probably doing pick n mix on the dating sites.

I did OLD last year (after being married for a long time). My experience was if you were doing all the initiating and chasing and they weren’t spontaneously texting, they weren’t that interested. One guy I chased up. I don’t mind suggesting the first date, I think most men like a lady to take some initiative, but I also arranged the second, by the end of that we’d had one kiss (felt half-hearted). Soon after he said he wasn’t interested in a third date. Found out shortly after he’d committed to someone else and booked a weekend away 3 days after our second date! Now we’d never said we were exclusive or anything but I realised in retrospect I was second best and being kept on the back burner. I didn’t chase again and met my DP soon after, he was far more direct. I said that to him and he said ‘I had a good feeling about you and I didn’t want to miss my chance to have that first date!’.
So no, as pp said, in a male/female dynamic I wouldn’t expect a man to do all the running but I would expect to be contacted more than once a day and if he liked me enough by a second date, I’d expect that to be clear.

I would stop replying to the once daily text. If he's bothered you'll soon find out. If he doesn't try again you've got your answer.

Thanks everyone. Seems to be a resounding consensus and my gut is telling me the same thing. I responded to his last message asking him (in a light hearted way) where he was at so if he doesn't reply or its an underwhelming response I'm going to delete and move on. A shame because I genuinely like him and that doesn't happen often!

I feel with some men they like women to do the chasing. This annoys me and I refuse to do it. Also with online dating it makes me feel like they have a queue. I would play him at his own game. Find someone who makes an effort. Or tell him you need more communication if he steps up you will know!