Mums group through school

[Twinkletoes18]

I was looking for advice. I used to be a friend with another mum as her child would play with my child in class. She was great, and offered me great advice as her child has autism and my child was just about getting started through the whole school support. My child is high functioning. We were good friends and along this she started bad mouthing other mums, and I started to believe her and perhaps saw the other mums as not being friendly etc. Then in our mutual school mums group for each year, she called out on another mum who I knew from way before and was my very good friend. She called out on her for asking a question that was stupid. I thought it was harsh of her, and because of her this mum left the group.

The mum I used to get advice from she started cutting her communication with me slowly and I noticed it. But then she then started going out on dinners with the other mums and I felt she was trying to backstab me or something. She started saying that she’s busy and has new work etc etc and she not free to chat with me etc. Tbh I stopped associating myself with her because I could see I was becoming v negative around her. Anyways when I was on holiday I had a think about this and told myself after the holiday just don’t bother speaking to her since she’s done the job anyways of communicating less with you. Then my instagram got hacked and I lost my followers and I tried to get them back but she thought I deleted her off my Instagram so she went and blocked me off everywhere Including WhatsApp, Facebook (didnt have her there).

the point is that another kind parents who I met for lunch told me how she’s gone and told the whole mums group that I have issues and me and her don’t talk anymore? And because of this I now just get strange looks from all these parents. I don’t and haven’t done anything, I just don’t want to be around her as much so I am avoiding her. Im not sure what issue I have caused for her? Earlier on the year she accused my son for passing on a nasty cough to her older son who is a bit disabled, and it was going around at school ?

i feel like I’m a fool and feel stupid and my confidence has gone down. Am I right to be feeling out of place in this whole years mum group?

I realise when you’re in the thick of it, things like this can really swallow you up, but it’s so overly dramatic. Rise above it and focus on your life and children - you don’t need to associate with any group or individuals unless you want to. Give them the bare minimum of you and stop giving them the power to rule your emotions.

Some people clearly have very little going on their lives to be creating all this drama. I absolutely hate the whole school mum clique and its exactly why I don't really bother with any other parents at my son's school. I'm friendly with 1 mum as our kids are best friends but I don't get involved with any others, other than a hello or politeness a parties. I see the bitchiness that goes on. You really are better off out of it but I really can sympathise with you feeling ostracized now. She will have moved on to someone else soon enough.

The melodrama! Have you always been like this or did you once have a life?
Somewhere in between stepping out of one playground and into another?
'I'm not talking to her,' 'She's won't play with me,' 'You can't be her friend if you want to be my friend, ' She started it' ...
There is a whole world out there beyond the school gates!

@Millybob I know there’s more to the world outside of the playground. I just didn’t know what to really say or react to what she has gone done? Great for her if she is moving onto other mums to talk, happy for her whatever, but even though I don’t talk to her, and she doesn’t talk to me, she’s made this thing up that I’ve got issues with her. And now she’s gone and told the whole group chat how we don’t speak to each other? Whereas I haven’t done or talked to anyone with about our issues. No I don’t really mind if she goes and makes other friends. I’m just sick of it all how she’s made me to be the bad person, and talked a lot of shit about me when I haven’t done anything to her?! (Except to stop speaking to her)

I do feel ostracised by her when I have done nothing wrong. She’s painted a whole bad picture of me that the whole mums group know I am “a bad person, and have issues”. I also have to be a rep for the year and relay information from school to parents for upcoming event days at school. And I’m really trying hard not to just not take all on atm. I do empathise as she is a single mum and probably has so much on her plate, and I give points to her for really being there on top with everything she does but I just didn’t know she would go on to talk so lowly of me?

Sounds like you've dodged a bullet and the other mums will soon come to realise this.

She's a complete narcissist!

This has happened to me and currently experiencing the same, so I feel your pain.