So mad at husband...not giving me anytime to myself and being so selfish!

[Nessamommy]

I am sooo angry right now I don't even know what to do. Lately, I have been feeling upset with my husband because he never comes home after work. He's always running around running errands for himself (not even for our family). I am alone with our 5 month old son all day. I do find things to do, but want time alone sometimes, without the baby. I have been feeling like I'm getting desperate for this time! I haven't had it in over a month! I have been expressing this to him, and so today I was supposed to go in the afternoon, once he got home, to go grocery shopping (sure, it's not exciting, but it's atleast some freedom). But he phoned me to tell me he had an appointment booked a long time ago to get these special shoes he needs (kind of for work). He never told me about this this morning. I am so pissed. What do I do? I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. I am getting nowhere and I am in tears. Why doesn't he get it?

My husband did that too!!! He would look after her for an hour or two while I slept in and then would be like, oh, its so easy, we took a walk, bought some fish. And I would be thinking, she's dirty, shes in her sleep suit, you havent showered, the house is filthy, I would have cleaned the house by now, put a wash on, etc etc, and anyway as soon as he handed her over I would be feeding feeding which he couldnt do, so had more time. Its only since she has been on solids and drinking from cup that I have left her with him a little longer and he has made the much treasured remarks about how hard it is. It pisses me off a bit that he;'ss never reallyh know though because he would never clean or tidy things or go to the supermarket even if I went away for a week.

I think you have to be patient and wait, eventually he'll have to lend more of a hand and then youll get the belated appreciation.

But I think thats mean of him to leave him to cry, did you tell him off about that?

he's told you his plans for Saturday??? If it was me I'd go out, buy 3 cartons of formula. Get up before him on Sat morning, leave the house and let him get on with it all day. Then see how much he likes it. I would NOT let him go to the gym.

I would totally do that except that I would feel like I was abandoning my son.

nessa

do you go to any groups during the day?

is there a local shop you can walk to with baby in a sling and get a few bits?

perhaps your DH is absolutely overwhelmed with new parenthood and is using your breastfeeding as an excuse to not be involved, as he cannot meet the baby's needs? maybe he is not coming home as he is scared of what to do and how to be a father?

you need to sit and talk rationally and calmly., and if it turns out he just cannot be arsed, then that is a whole different ball game

what were his expectations of fatherhood? they might have been doing very little until the baby was walking...

you need to communicate with each otehr

Some people are not really listening to the op here, are they? she functions fine without the baby. She wants some time without him. Nessa, think you need to listen to the posters who said to just leave ds with dh and go out. you are not abandoning him if you do.

Some people are not really listening to the op here, are they? she functions fine with the baby. She wants some time without him. Nessa, think you need to listen to the posters who said to just leave ds with dh and go out. you are not abandoning him if you do.

oranges, no need to be stroppy, we are all trying to help here. I echo what you say though, OP is not abandoning her child by going out for some time on her own.

I think that I'm going to start off slowly. I'm not going to leave for half a day, but maybe I'll go out during a feeding time and go for an hour or so...just in case he won't take the bottle. That should be enought time for my husband to feel a bit!