Have you ever met someone who...

[cremeeggs]

just gets under your skin? Started working with someone a year go and well I certainly don't think I fancy him as such but he has unsettled me. We get on very well and it just feels as if there's a connection - but in a friends kind of way - but then recently he's started holding my gaze and I have been feeling that funny tummy-stirring thing, don't know why! i do think about him in an escapist kind of way (he's foreign, from a very different cultural background and seems very other-worldly) but I couldn't imagine anything ever happening between us. I'm happily married with two dcs - he is single, but same age as me. I don't think I do like him in that way but I can't imagine not seeing him often (which is a possibility as I may stop working there soon!) Anyone had this? Am I just bored (nearly 12 years of marriage?) I feel gulity/unfaithful just for typing this!

Oh well we are on the same wavelength then.

Cremeegg also be aware that developing things as couples has its dangers to if you're not fully in control as you two could basically be sharing a "secret" across a dinner table. But if you can manage it, it's great that you have a new friend.

Message withdrawn

I agree with pilafina and celery, and think it's healthy to have strong close relationships with people other than our partners, both male and female, and if you meet someone you have a realy connection with, then you have a right to keep that friendship. Life is complicated, but it is also rich and rewarding, so you shouldn't have to limit close social bonds to your partner only.

Just, like everyone else said, be careful.

thanks overmydb, good advice, I think that's what I'm going to do! Don't want to deny us the right to be friends and I should hopfully be adult enough not to let anything go in a different direction.

Cremeeggs - just do not under any circumstances ever get yourself into a situation where you are alone and have imbibed of the inhibition drug aka alcohol

For that very reason I am staying sober this weekend when I meet up with an old flame for a drink! You never know what might happen, especially if your marriage/ partnership is feeling a little mundane. (Or like mine in complete disarray )

hope you okay Wisteria - is it just a temporary blip? very sensible staying off the alcohol, makes such a difference (note to self, don't do an Abby in ER! Unfortunately too this guy looks very much like Luca from ER - I think that's half the problem - and he's blissfully unaware of how scrumptious he is!)

I'm ok - just wondering at my own state of mind - I have been feeling like you all week, squirmy stomach etc and a bit confused..

So glad I've made the decision to act teetotal - he's not seen me for 20 years so will no doubt think I had a radical life experience or some such nonsense......

Luca mmmmmm - better eyecandy than I ever had in the office though lucky you!!

Hope you have fun anyway despite lack of alcohol and in platonic way of course...yes, would be much easier if he didn't look like Luca really...

not only as scrummy as Luca -- but doesn't realise it?

you have to stay of the booze
he's obviously a sweetie

(but I bet he does realise it...)

I know he doesn't watch ER anyhow.....I certainly find it harder to wach ER now though, gets my head spinning!

we each have our own opinion on this but i really think you are playing with fire here. tempting, enjoyable and fun. but ultimately very dangerous. if you value your marriage and family life then just dont take the risk. things can go wrong very quickly and it is soo soo easy to kid yourself all is ok. we make sacrifices for the sake of our families and this might need to be one. respect your husband and your children definitely comes by playing it safe (even if it might be ok to carry on being his friend it might not and that is i think the point). he has nothing to lose. you have everything. you will forget about him and the potential friendship if you let it go. you may come to make the biggest mistake of your life if you dont.

Sorry to sound cynical but regarding this bloke and his meaningful looks and the connection etc.Its called a mans ego and he wants you to stroke it.

You all talk a lot of sense, I'm very confused! I suppose deep down I know all of this, it has just brightened things up really. Nothing wrong with my marriage as far as I can see but I suppose it just felt quite exciting to make a new friend who's a man, and an attractive one at that. But you're right nowweare4 about himhaving nothing to lose and time4me bout his ego - he seems too nice to me to deliberately use me but then I can be a bit dim about people's motives sometimes. You are a very sobering (but helpfully so!) influence !

Cremeeggs there is no doubt it can be utterly electrifying. But that doesn't make it a special unique connection which should undermine the amazing experiences you have had with your dh like raising a family. Enjoy the fact that you have been "fancied", and been "clocked" and move on.