To be more mysterious and less available

[Confusedaboutmen]

Last few guys I’ve dated (from online) fairly long term have said or hinted that I should be less available and more mysterious.

I have no idea what they are talking about as I am very independent. I work in a high level stressful job with long hours meaning while we spoke every day, I’d maybe see them once during the week and on the weekends.

I’d never be first to message or call. I certainly have my own life with hobbies and friends.

Why are men saying this??

unless its a double meaning ?

Mysterious! What a load.

Just wait for someone who's compatible and normal. Sounds like they just want to 'crack the mystery' as proof of their masculinity. Way to much complicated bs.

The only time I have heard the word mysterious referred to in relation to dating is in the 1995 book, The Rules, which was full of some very strange ideas.

OP, it’s because you are with the wrong person. It’s not you it’s them! They are frightened of an independent assertive woman. Move on to someone better!

I think people who are busy with fulfilling lives are often fairly straightforward and no-nonsense about what they want and don’t fuck about with being all coquettish and hard to get. They don’t have time for that and it’s boring. Sometimes this offends a man’s delicate sense of his own manliness. And this is not the type of man you want around. Someone who is equally secure and fulfilled won’t neg you like this. Move on.