I have name changed. Fully prepared to be told I'm BU but I cannot help but feel miffed.
For context:
DP and I have been together for 2 years, he's recently moved in. I'm a lone parent to DD - left exH when she was months old due to abuse. Have done the Freedom Programme. He's great with DD, all green flags, generally very happy.
I have a big birthday coming up next week.
Around a year ago, I booked a mini break for DD and I over my big birthday weekend. Didn't ask DP at the time, wasnt living together, was happy for it to be just DD and I. Obviously things have progressed, DP and DD get on so well and DD asked if DP could come. He booked onto the trip too around 3 weeks ago. I have organised/sorted itinerary etc and he has slotted in. No big deal.
18 months ago, my all time favourite band released tour dates and I managed to grab 2 tickets for them in a great city the week before my big birthday. At the time, DP said he'd like to come. I said ok thinking great if we're still together, nice night away, if we split, I'll ask a friend/sell the other ticket. We went half on accommodation (nice hotel but nothing fancy at all) & plane tickets (£50 each return). I haven't asked him to pay for the gig ticket because I invited him. Again, I've fully organised the trip/itinerary.
Yesterday he ordered some trainers (that I've been lusting after for ages) in front of me for my present which obviously I'm really grateful for however they're currently out of stock and not likely to come for my actual birthday.
This is all ok... however I'm really upset that mutual friends have said "how lucky" I am to have someone who has gone all out for my birthday. They work with him and I didn't correct them in order to embarrass him. They mean the trip he's jumped on with DD, the gig and the trainers. It sounds like he's implied to have organised/treated us for the trips. It would be very out of character for him to lie outright.
By contrast, for his birthday, we have done a spa hotel, meal out, a cultural experience he really wanted to try plus a few small thoughtful gifts which he loved (obviously all on me).
There is 100% no surprises.
I'm really not someone who is into birthdays except DDs (promise!) but the last decade has been a lot of lows and I'm really excited about starting a whole new chapter. The lack of effort is really making me question my relationship with him.
We generally communicate really well but I've not brought this up with him yet, predominantly because I feel like a petulant child saying "you've not made an effort for my birthday!"
Thoughts and opinions very much welcome!!