Been with DP 6 years, have a toddler DD together. I have a teen DS from a previous relationship, we all live together in DPs house. So not to dripfeed, DP has issues with alcohol, but holds down a FT, responsible job (this is relevant to the post) So...DS has been quite poorly recently with heavy colds. He was up coughing most of Thursday night. Yesterday morning I told DS he could stay off school before I went to work as he had a temperature and was starting to lose his voice. I then received an angry phonecall from DP asking why DS was off school and told me that DS should "man up". He also told this to DS (who was thankfully half asleep and didn't hear this comment). I was upset by this as my colleagues overheard the conversation and weren't happy at how he spoke to me. DD was at nursery yesterday and I suspect that DP was annoyed at DS being home as he wanted to drink during the day. I come home after 2100 and DP is (surprisingly) in great form. Really jovial. I wasn't expecting him to be awake as he starts work at 0600 today. I tell him I'll finish getting toddler DD settled as he had an early start. He goes back to bed. I see he had drank about 3/4 of a bottle of vodka at some point that day/evening.
I had brought takeaway from a place near my work back for me and DS to eat as I hadn't eaten since the day before. DP suddenly comes back downstairs and asks where his food is. I initially thought he was joking, but explained I didn't think he'd want any as the takeaway place is about 20mins from our house and he has specifically told me before not to bring him food back from there as "it's cold" by the time I get home. He went upstairs in a huff sent me a nasty message about how I should have offered him food and that "it wouldn't be forgotten" told me not to reply to his message as he was going to sleep, then blocked me. Toddler DD then runs into his bedroom and I bound up the stairs after her to take her back into her own bed. Whilst retrieving DD, I explained, very calmly, to DP why I didn't get him food and told him that I always offer him food when it's someplace local. To reiterate, he NEVER wants food from this place. He suddenly sat up in bed and started snarling "do not start me" repeatedly and said I need to know when to be quiet. I take DD and go I to her room feeling shaken. DP has unblocked me today(!) and has texted asking how DD is. I'm still feeling upset but unsure if I'm the one in the wrong for not offering him takeaway. I feel his reaction last night was utterly bizarre but I can't bring it up again or it will cause a row.