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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I know it’s time to go my heart is broken

29 replies

DWSDB · 07/10/2023 06:35

He is so horrible to me and switches from being a nice guy to cruel and passive in seconds. I’m pregnant and he threatens to leave me when we argue and even when I’ve done nothing wrong it’s me who begs him to stay and when I’ve calmed down from the loss of it all I realise how stupid I’ve been to put up with it but don’t want to start another war.

When he was storming off tonight I said I don’t deserve this and he’s said I don’t deserve anything on top of the other cruel and callous things he has said.

this has happened because his pet rabbit died and he went out so I cleared the cage, dug a hole and wrapped the rabbit in a blanket so he wouldn’t have to do it. I thought I was doing the right thing and was told that I’m awful and never cared about the rabbit and I’m happy to get rid of it. Then basically got angry at me because I cried over the poor thing dying.

we only went to sleep from this fight after he’s told me all about myself and didn’t let me defend myself. He’s then told me it’ll be okay and stroked my hair and spoke to the baby. I’ve woken up and can’t stop crying and I can tell he’s frustrated with me for this even though he’s stroking my back and saying it’s all okay. It’s not okay and if I mention anything now it’ll be the final straw and he will go and I know it’s the right thing for him to go but I’m not strong enough to handle it.

He has no respect for me and swears at me and calls me names. I think this is a trauma bond because I’ve started to think I deserve it. He’s said to me ‘you won’t ever leave me’ and the more I write this I see how bad it’s got.

It’s his birthday today which I’ve planned nicely and I know I’ll just have to shut up and put up with it today but I’m past the breaking point now.

OP posts:
DWSDB · 07/10/2023 14:32

I’ve spoken to my mum she’s disgusted with him as is my dad. Going to give it a few days to get my head straight and ask him to leave. Sounds like he wants to anyway. I’ll do it on my own.

OP posts:
PimpMyFridge · 07/10/2023 14:45

That's an amazing step op, well done. It'll be mixed feelings all the way, nothing is simple or black and white, but that's ok. You're on your way to freedom from emotional cruelty.
Wishing you all the luck and support you need

IncompleteSenten · 07/10/2023 16:10

He is abusive.
His behaviour is purposeful. It is designed to break you down piece by piece. It will not get better. The longer you stay the more broken you will be. The effect on your children will never be undone.

GoodVibesHere · 07/10/2023 21:31

Good for you OP. This will be the start of your new life. You can do this.

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