My partner says awful things to me

[Isabella1986]

I’ve a two year old and a baby my partner says I bring nothing to the table. He tells me I’m useless and is never there for me. He comes home late and has usually been drinking, if I ask him what he’s been doing he gets angry at me and either leaves or gives me the silent treatment and tells me not to question him. I do everything I can for our family and feel he has no respect for me at all.

It sounds like he has had enough of the relationship but is trying to make you break up with him as he won't do it himself

Things you know about your partner:
He lies to you
He doesn't respect you
He is verbally abusive
He doesn't value your role
He's lazy at home, and doesn't parent his children
He gets angry or gives you the silent treatment if you question him
He only says nice things when it's in his interest / to get you back under his control

Things you know about your children:
You are the centre of their world
They deserve to live in a calm, living home
They rely on you to provide that for them.
Their father doesn't prioritise them
Their father is abusive to their mother (and so they live in a home where there is abuse)
If they grow up around him, they risjk becoming like him, or choosing a partner like him. So they could well grow up as abusers or being abused. The longer they live with him, the more likely this is to happen.
Not living with their father would be much better than living in their current situation.
If you split up, they would still have a father. If he doesn't then spend much time with them, it shows you he isn't bothered about them, in which case they'll be better off without him in their life.

Do the right thing for your children. Don't prioritise a relationship with the abusive man.

I love my children and I have read every reply and thank you all

You've said you're living in an emotional roller coaster. Now that is your choice. You've chosen to live this hellish and abusive lofe.

You can get off that roller coaster any time you want

Now what about your poor kids? They can't get off, they are stuck on that roller coaster for the next 15 + plus years. They are powerless and in an abusive family environment.

Is that what you want for your kids? You're their mum, you're supposed to be protecting them.

And please don't come out with "But they don't know" or "It only happens when they're in bed"

Please darling protect your kids. :(

I was raised in an abusive household. I was petrified when i was a child. You do not need a father for your child, you are just scared to be alone with DC. Dont be please...as kids we were subjected to hearing this against mum and we hated dad in the end..it also has given me emotional scars for 45 years. Dont put your children through this x

Get off the rollercoaster while your children are still very young. Don't wait years and years with them witnessing his behaviour. Raise your bar.

If you think it's a roller coaster so do your children being I'm this atmosphere is abusing them too. If you don't love yourself enough to end it do it for them.