So I'm posting about my best friend (m40) as he's constantly doing things that make me cringe, which I do tell him, but he thinks it's perfectly reasonable behaviour. Hence why I'm posting on here to see what everyone else thinks.
So basically my friend is single and has been on dating sites for ages (there's nothing wrong with him, just not stunning looking so often gets overlooked). He matched with this woman and they started chatting and were arranging to meet for a first date. Now my friend lives in one county and works shifts in another county 90 miles away ( 4 days on, 4 days off pattern) and he rents a room in a friend's house whilst he's over there for work. This woman who he was chatting to lived closer to where he works and she has kids who live with her during the week and see their dad at the weekend apparently.
Due to his shift pattern and her childcare commitments they had arranged to meet one Saturday evening but this was right in the middle of his days off so he would be doing 180 mile round trip just for this date.
He had been open and honest with this woman from the start about his situation and she seemed to understand this, however he had apparently asked this woman if he could stay at her house for the evening after their date to save him traveling back 2 hours the same night.
Now my friend can be an absolute gent and there's no way he was expecting sex from this woman on a first date unless she felt comfortable doing so and if she were to initiate anything. No, instead my friend actually suggested he bring his airbed and he could sleep downstairs! Needless to say, the date never went ahead and she ended up blocking him.
Now obviously this woman could've changed her mind about the date for any number of reasons but me being a single female too pointed out to my friend that if a guy suggested that to me that would be a huge red flag and I wouldn't go on the date either. I mean it's fine if the date goes really well and as two consenting adults you decide to spend the night together. But what if it doesn't go well and then instead of being able to say ' It's been nice meeting you but I don't think we'll be having a second date' you're awkwardly having to take them back to your house and accommodate them for the evening. The thought of that would put any woman off surely. Not to mention thinking of her own safety having not met my friend before, she wouldn't know if he was a serial killer or not ( he's not btw).
My friend's attitude was that it was a perfectly reasonable request having explained his situation to her, and that this is something he'd done in the past a couple of times with other women he'd met for dates when he was younger!!!!
I mean the fact he suggested it once is bad enough, let alone more than once. I despair! I told him that as it wasn't possible to stay at his usual digs then he should've rearranged the date for a day that was more convenient for both of them, or he could've booked into a hotel or Airbnb instead if he didn't want to drive back the same night.
Was he being unreasonable in his request to this woman or do you think this is ok? I'm dying to know