Did anyone feel scared for their life after leaving ex??

[FluffyBear82]

My ex is emotionally abusive, he's never touched me but is very passive aggressive and other times pure aggressive. I'm moving at the end of the month, I'm in touch with safeguarding at the police and a woman's domestic support place. But I still feel scared he will track me down and kill me/my baby. Its probably complete paranoia but I know he will go mental when he finds out I've left him (doing it in secret). I'm trying to be as prepared as I can be but nothing will stop him from attacking me if he wants to I'm sure. Has anyone else felt like this but it was all ok??? Thank you xx

What a heartbreaking post. I wish you well. I hope with all I have that you find somewhere safe, and you and your baby can live in peace and happiness. One day this will be a horrible memory.

My ex was extremely mentally and emotionally abusive, he was never physically abusive but I found out when we was together that he was in a previous relationship, so knew he was capable of it! Would also say things like he’d have our son taken away from me if I left him. I stayed with him for longer than i should have because I was terrified of what he would do to me but more so to our son or if he would hurt him if he got access after to hurt me as, he also has other issues like alcohol abuse, drink driving, threats to commit suicide all the time. I left him 6 months ago and I’ve got my life back, me and my kids are so much happier, it was the best thing I ever done! I’ve had nasty emails and threats but haven’t seen him since and he hasn’t bothered to have contact with our son, which is fine by me! you’re definitely taking steps in the right direction and got all the right people on board. If you feel threatened at all then get the police to accompany you to get your stuff. I’m presuming he won’t know where you are moving too? Good luck! Be safe! And well done you for making a better life for yourself and your child!

@BookwormDadUK thank you I hope so too xx

@LouH21 thank you for sharing that it's certainly made me feel a bit better. He won't know where I'm moving too but I'm still going to be in the same town which makes me nervous. I really love where I live and have made friends here so I'm hoping I don't have to leave and he just leaves me alone but I am nervous about still being in the same town. But I don't think he can find out my address if I keep off public electrol register etc.

@LouH21 sorry I was half asleep when replying this morning, I meant to say I'm so happy for you that nothing bad has happened and you've been able to start living again. Mine also has a drug habit and I he completely lacks empathy and goes mental if he feels slighted by anyone. However he is also incredibly lazy, the laziest person I've ever met which I'm hoping is my saving grace that he wouldn't go to great lengths to do anything and he doesn't ever go anywhere other than work and food shop so again lessening the chance I would run into him. Did you still live in the same area or move far away??

Yes. I was scared for a long time, esp with how emotionally unstable he became. Not helped by the fact he did threaten to kill me.
But there was many things I did to feel safer and to keep my kids safe.

1.. Not posting on social media

1. Not having any photos of my children or myself taken publicly.
2. School know not to share my address.
3. Police put a marker on my house.
4. CCTV or a ring door bell installed
5. Change your routine and keep on changing it so your not prodictable.
6. Carry a dictorphone
7. You can down load safety apps

9.keep a diary of anything suspicious 10. Talk to neighbours, so they can make you aware of any strange people. 11. Be a bit careful who you invite into your lives, who you share your address with. 12. Don't be drawn into responding or trying to get one up on him. So if he posts something abusive about you on social media, don't respondD on't poke the bear. 13. Make sure your side gate, back garden is secure.

Me and my children live a very happy and for filled life and as time has gone on we have been able to be more carefree. Even though I do still keep to some of the above.

@FluffyBear82 i still live in the same place, it’s my house so I kicked him out. So he knows where I live but hasn’t bothered. Think all the threats etc were just to intimidate and manipulate. I used to be worried in the beginning about him showing up but he’s shown it’s all mouth. I got the police involved, social services and victim support and they’ve all been amazing. Police are aware of his emails and I’ve been told if he ever shows up to call the police straight away and a harassment order will be put in place. But to be honest my ex is probably loving not being allowed near my son, because he can use it to play victim, they way he lies to his friends and family is sickening, they genuinely have no idea how vile he is, also he knows of the proof I have to show everything I’m saying is true so don’t think he wants all of it coming out about him and that’s why he’s stayed away and not bothered to go to court to see his son.

@TickingKey46 thank you that's really helpful. I've already locked down my social media, luckily he doesn't do any social media buy I know he could do it to try and track me. I'm moving to a rented flat with intercom which is good. I feel I've covered most bases but I guess only time will tell. I'm so pleased you've got out and are happy, how terrifying that he threatened to kill you ☹

@LouH21 oh gosh that's sounds exactly like mine, pathological liar and no one realises what a horrible person he is, always the victim, I've no doubt he will tell everyone I've run off with another man so he can look like the good guy 🙄 but I really don't care what he says as long as he leaves me alone. Hopefully like you it will be all talk, he's actually the biggest coward I've ever met but I don't want to underestimate him either as he is such a nasty angry little man. And again just like you I have proof of his abuse and drug taking which I will threaten him with to leave me alone and pray that works.

@FluffyBear82 covert narcissist! They are the worst, everyone thinks they are so amazing but have no idea just how vile they are! I had emails about he knows I’m with someone else blah blah blah so wouldn’t surprise me if he’s told his family that! I’m the same, say what you like just stay away from me and my son! I find it is all scare tactics with my ex, tried everything so I would go back, because I did so many times before when he messed up, but now I think he’s realising I never will! He flares up occasionally and tries to emotionally manipulate but when I don’t bite his real side comes out again and the abusive emails start! dont faze me anymore, just more proof! Like you say keep your guard but hopefully you and your little one will be able to live in peace! Do you have people to support you with the move and helping with the little one?

@LouH21 yes covert narcissist!! I was utterly baffled by his behaviour and he lied and said he was autistic to explain why he had no empathy but it didn't make sense as it didn't explain the abuse!! It wasn't until we had a baby and I saw him acting the same with baby and his behaviour got worse that I realised he was a cn! Even my own family wouldn't believe me as they think he's such a nice guy 😡 and the constant jekyll and Hyde, it's so exhausting. I can't wait to get away from him. Yes my friends are helping me move thankfully 😊