Cheating or not?

[Kayleighxox]

a few months ago i went on my partners phone just because of the way he was with it always taking it with him everywhere, always having it on silent, and always glued to it every minute of the day. Anyway I found some things on there which I didn’t like - one being him messaging prostitutes. I confronted him about it, we split up and argued like hell about it. A month or so down the line I forgave him (well still working on it) things seems better for a couple of weeks then he was secretive again and accused me of being secretive with mine! (I wasn’t and happily let him go through it there and then)
Ive just found more recent messages of him asking prositututes if they are free and that he just wants a “blow & go” (with the times on the texts it’s usually when he’s driving home from work) I’ve confronted him and told him I can’t do this anymore however he seems to think he hasn’t done anything wrong because he never actually went.

has anyone ever been on a situation like this, I really don’t know what to do, looking at him makes me feel seriously sick right now. I have 2 children to think about (they are not his) but we have moved 200 miles away from our home to be with him and literally have no idea how we will get by financially on our own. I work as much as I can already.
I just can’t believe he would do this to me after everything I’ve done for him and everything I gave up back home to be with him.
any advice would be appreciated, first time posting here but I guess I just needed somewhere to turn to

He will absolutely use prostitutes again. This won’t stop. I strongly suspect that he has used them before. You gave him one chance and it didn’t stop. I’m sorry you are going through this especially with the financial strain too but please don’t stop because of money, it would be a terrible relationship with no trust. You will sort things out, you deserve better than this

I got rid! 5 weeks later we are still figuring how we’re getting by but we are doing it just me and my children!

thank you for all your comments xx

@Kayleighxox brave but correct- you would never trust him again

I would seriously consider finding a solid base back home, surrounded by family and support.

You did well building your business, it shows you can do it. With time, you'll be able to do the same again back home.

I would get yourself a health check in the meantime, as he's clearly not fussed about where he stick's that thing.

You and your children deserve far better than this.

Wishing you all the best!

I think you know the answer yourself here.

Maybe he could share it with you and be something you both enjoy ? If not then it’s really not cool. You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to go through his phone - but then when you do there’s things that hurt you. You should make that point clear that you don’t want to do it.

In the past I’ve checked an Ex’s phone and even though it was there in black and white he still lied. After that I said “I feel X certain way because of your actions, and I’m sorry to ask you this but can you just show me blah blah blah”

After I asked that my Ex all of a sudden that second had to run upstairs and change his jumper - so his actions spoke enough for me. Like you said if he had doubts you want to reassure him because it is a horrible conversation - if he can’t give you that …