Partners ‘ideas’ about certain issues

[BoysBagsShoes]

Sitting down this evening and the topic of trans people comes around…according to my partner ‘they don’t exist’. Apparently being trans is a made up ‘thing’.

Sunak’s comments on raising the smoking age then comes up; apparently this is wrong too and everyone should have the right to decide. It’s not going to save the nhs money regarding cancer treatments as those who have smoked have paid more than enough in tax on their cigarettes.

When I bring up the issue of passive smokers, children living in homes with smokers etc, again there is too much government intervention and is fine. Smoking around children isn’t neglectful and people have the right to choose what they do.

People of Mumsnet, am I being precious, is this just a general difference of opinion that you have with your partners, or is he being a general arse?

Discomfiting to find out that your partner's politics and ideas are so different from your own.

Do you think he does strongly believe in personal freedom to that extent (say, would he be totally fine IRL to see kids in a room breathing in an adult's cig/pipe smoke?) or might he just be feeling contrarian to the news agenda and hasn't thought much about the issues mentioned but would say different after more thought? Would he be rude / offensive to a trans person FTF or online, say?

Hard to say if he's an arse because people don't always act or really believe what they say in response to the news of the day esp if they're irritated about stuff.

Thanks for replying. I also wondered if he was being contrary, but he honestly didn’t seem to think that smoking around kids was at all neglectful.

The trans comment came about as we were (lightheartedly) talking about the top five worst profanities (based on something I’d read online). All the usual suspects were mentioned, then he came out with, ‘I know one…trans’. I was honestly shocked and said that I found his answer offensive,in the same way I would in calling someone gay as a pejorative term. He brushed it off and replied he didn’t.

To put him into context (although not an excuse), he comes from a small Welsh valleys village, all boys school, where anything other than being straight was thought of as strange. He has lived away for years, but maybe something of the upbringing remains.

He’s recently been in an online slanging match with someone quite high profile regarding the 20 mph speed limits brought into place in much of our local area (he’s completely against it). I was shocked at how he wouldn’t/couldn’t leave this issue alone and had to remind him that he may want to watch what he said, if only for the fact that anyone could see the comments and link them to him…he proudly stated that he’d changed his detail so couldn’t be traced.

I’m starting to worry that I have could have 40-50 years with someone with these opinions. At the moment they’re not making him appear the slightest bit attractive!

If the differences of opinion are too many or too deep, then I wouldn’t stay sigh someone so fundamentally different. If it’s minor politics and you can agree to disagree, then I would stay together if everything else is good.

Most people on here, looking at the posts I have seen, would probably agree with him on the trans thing