Ex husband pretending to others that we're still in a relationship

[nettaheight]

Long thread title!

Just that really. I've been separated from my husband for well over two years, and we're going through divorce. He was abusive, alcoholic, controlling to name but a few of his qualities, he'd also had affairs. I ended the relationship and I don't think he liked that, and as I refused a to consider reconciliation.

We have two older children who have occasionally seen him, and they've confided in me that he refers to me, when speaking of me to his friends or family, as 'the missus' or 'the bossy wife' or implies that we're together in some way. I rarely speak to the man nowadays and really resent it but can't confront because DC have asked me not to. One relative apparently asked my older son if we were still together as he'd made it sound like we were. He also talks about me a lot, though not all positive.

Has anyone else experienced similar? I feel angry about it.

Presumably it's only people you're not really in contact with or aren't in your life that he can pretend this to, not anyone who matters?

I can see how it's infuriating, but it's because he's a sad little man who doesn't want to face up to his staggering failures as a husband.

I'd set anyone straight who asked me directly, in your position, but confronting him would be pointless (and is possibly what he wants?).

If anybody asked me I would set them straight and I would also advise DC not to lie. Suppose nothing you can do about your ex than just ignore.

Thank you! Yes you're both right. I just find it horrible and irritating to think he's pretending, and it's a strange thing to do.

When asked directly (by his brother ) my son did say we're not together and haven't been for some time, but if they just hear him saying this to his friends I think it sounds like they don't want to embarrass him by correcting him in public.

Yes it's people I'm not in contact with.