These aren’t normal responses are they?

[Nogooddeed7]

I’ve changed my user name. Long time user.

Lately I’ve had to move back home after a long term relationship ended. Struggling very much with communication with parents.

These aren’t normal reactions are they?

1. Starting to feel safe and realised lately that my previous relationship was quite unconsciously abusive on his part. Emotionally. I told my father this and he said “He didn’t abuse you. You are abusing yourself.”
2. A friend died recently. They were young and it’s upsetting. Told dad this and he said “So what?” Basically because he didn’t know them.

Tried to talk about how those responses made me feel because I was getting picked at because apparently I never talk about anything. He doesn’t get it.

Am I going mad? If someone said those things to you would that be your response? These examples are just what have happened in the last week.

Your dad doesn't appear to have an empathetic bone in his body. I wouldn't talk to him about things like that any more.

I also wonder whether having been brought up by someone like him has subconsciously affected your choices of partner, and you are looking for the wrong things in relationships.

Your dad sounds awful - no empathy at all.

Were your parents OK about you moving back in? How soon will you be able to move out?

Thoughtless

has he been like this all your life?

he has provided a refuge from your abusive ex so perhaps he’s more of the practical support rather than emotional

Not sure how old your Father is but - I've found generally that older people just dont "get" emotional abuse. They only see abuse as something physical.

Having said that he doesn't sound very sympathetic at all. I'm sorry

How soon can you move out?

I think its a generational thing tbh. My parents would not understand anything like that unless it was happening to them.
They have no empathy.
They wouldn't have me home either if I was homeless and I wouldn't ask. Yet they think we have a "healthy relationship".
I don't think we do but I can't be bothered to argue with them about it.