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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Married Man (Isit cheating)

26 replies

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:26

Hi, messaging for a friend. This married man, has been speaking to my friend since the weekend. It got bit tense (sex talk). He added her on social media. She finds him attractive and he finds her attractive. He keeps saying she is just lust and sexual attraction. And that his heart is with his wife. What does that mean? Does he want her or not. She knows it’s wrong to talk to him. They haven’t met or kissed. Just FaceTime and phone. And his shown his private parts. She hasn’t shown much just cleavage. (Go ahead and judge, just need advice how I can help to get her out of this mess) she is also married. With a child. But has problems in her marriage.

OP posts:
Docke · 03/10/2023 23:27

Your friend sounds like a desperate loser.

I’d suggest you drop her. Lie down with dogs etc.

TheBolterdahling · 03/10/2023 23:28

Jeez he is literally telling her.
he wants to shag her but doesn’t want to leave his wife. He loves his wife (but is happy to cheat on her for a shag)

SophiaElizabethGrace · 03/10/2023 23:29

Yes of course it's cheating. They're both behaving poorly.

Loubelle70 · 03/10/2023 23:30

Its cheating.
You cant help her get out of the mess. You tell her its essentially cheating...youre having nothing to do with it...its her mess. Jeez..marriage is marriage. Let them have each other, their wife and husband deserve better

neilyoungismyhero · 03/10/2023 23:30

Pathetic pair.

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:30

How does that make sense to cheat on her if he loves her. If you love your wife right. You wouldn’t need to speak to another girl.

OP posts:
Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:31

I agree

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 03/10/2023 23:32

Jesus.

Why does it matter if they have stuck bits of themselves into other people?
They are both being disloyal and showing low moral fibre.

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:32

I only found out. As I walked in with her talking to him. She’s been talking to him since last week. It’s ridiculous. All I can think about is, his wife and 4 kids. I am married woman myself and have kids. It makes me look differently at people in my life. Like did I ever truely know you?

OP posts:
Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:33

They just talk. No sex yet

OP posts:
Catsafterme · 03/10/2023 23:34

It's exactly what he's told her but basically, he wants sex and nothing more.

He does not love his wife. He does not love your friend. He loves himself.

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:41

I agree. I feel like the wife deserve to know. But I don’t want to break anyone’s heart. I don’t want to break his babies heart. And wreck a family. But then again my friend is only piece of meat. He’ll soon find another woman

OP posts:
Gowlett · 03/10/2023 23:46

Pictures of his willy… She’s being blinded by madness.

Mari9999 · 03/10/2023 23:47

@Royaro
Telling her that he loves his wife is cheat talk for don't expect this arrangement to involve any kind of commitment.

I don't doubt that love and cheating can co exist in a relationship but I doubt that this man interests are in discussing his marriage.

Opportunity is presenting itself and he will follow it as far as it goes.

These are 2 adults enjoying a game and they are thinking only about themselves in the moment. You may be a friend, but there is no role for you in this drama.

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:49

Thanks, I have just sent a text and said to end it all and I’m done with this stuff. I am keeping out the drama.

OP posts:
Weatherwax13 · 03/10/2023 23:50

Christ, he's an absolute prick. You're right to feel dreadful for his wife. He probably has a string of women he's doing this with to see which ones he can reel in.
Your friend needs to have a word with herself.

RoseAndRose · 03/10/2023 23:56

He's a shit who want a shag, no strings attached.

She's in cloud cuckoo land if she thinks it's anything else

PTSDBarbiegirl · 04/10/2023 00:01

He has zero interest in her and has said she's basically going to provide a wank sock for him. No thank you. Don't get involved.

Dery · 04/10/2023 00:25

There’s absolutely no mystery about what he’s saying. And yes, it’s cheating but if your friend isn’t clear on that, she could ask her husband and his wife what they think it is. Sounds really grim, OP. Best to keep out of it.

MariaLuna · 04/10/2023 00:28

his shown his private parts

How utterly grim.

"messaging for a friend"

Yea right.

Royaro · 04/10/2023 00:59

You don’t have to believe.

OP posts:
FloydPepper · 04/10/2023 01:03

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:32

I only found out. As I walked in with her talking to him. She’s been talking to him since last week. It’s ridiculous. All I can think about is, his wife and 4 kids. I am married woman myself and have kids. It makes me look differently at people in my life. Like did I ever truely know you?

All you can think about is his wife and kids. What about her husband and child?

both as bad as each other

FiveShelties · 04/10/2023 01:12

Yuck, how sordid.

Love the asking for a friend though.

Loubelle70 · 04/10/2023 07:06

PTSDBarbiegirl · 04/10/2023 00:01

He has zero interest in her and has said she's basically going to provide a wank sock for him. No thank you. Don't get involved.

Wank sock 🤣. I've not heard that phrase for years

Loubelle70 · 04/10/2023 07:09

Royaro · 03/10/2023 23:49

Thanks, I have just sent a text and said to end it all and I’m done with this stuff. I am keeping out the drama.

Yes thats the way forward. Boundaries. 'I dont wanna know but disapprove so dont tell me anymore.'

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