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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this a Psychological issue

4 replies

rockstar123 · 03/10/2023 10:44

I have had on off relationship with my
sister she blows hot and cold and I’ve always even as the younger easier child I am
now wondering if she has a psychological issues as I get older and would be grateful for a neutral view on this.

As a teen she was heavy drinking, truanting school basically running away worrying my parents sick. At a time she ran up credit card debts ignored the bills didn’t pay etc and also ran up massive mobile phone bills to my parents had to pay. Managed to get to uni but dropped out when travelling and that didn’t last long came back due to running out of money and falling out with people.

In adulthood continues to drink heavily make impulsive decisions and is now divorced having moved away from area. My sister is now in a new relationship with someone we suspect she had an affair with causing break down of her marriage and has recently had a baby- we didn’t know of his existence until we knew baby was on the way. Prior to this she had a relationship with a married man in the family business causing much embarrassment to my uncle and relatives who had given her a chance.

My sister appears charming on the outside and is popular and likeable as the younger sibling I feel i’ve always been in her shadow and bit to punch bag. If things go wrong it’s never her fault. My parents never really challenged this behaviour but she is very controlling in nature and needs to know what i’m doing and what my parents are doing all of the time.

I wonder writing this all down what is the issues with my sister, my parents seems to accept that it is who she so and her behaviour is just normal. when I raise how she is my parents view me as a bit sensitive and dramatic and say that’s just how is X is.

OP posts:
StarryStarryNightColours · 03/10/2023 10:47

Alcohol abuse at such a young age indicates unresolved trauma and or MH issues, something you do not know about. I have known some women who were sexually abused as children and have very destructive behaviour just like this. This was through voluntary work.

rockstar123 · 03/10/2023 11:06

I am five years younger she hasn’t disclosed anything of an abusive nature that I’m aware of but thanks you for your reply. She can be very closed about her own personal life.

OP posts:
Skipthisstep82 · 03/10/2023 11:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

rockstar123 · 03/10/2023 11:41

I am new mumsnet wasn’t sure where to post hence two posts, no we are not close and yes I think alcohol is definitely an issue for her.

OP posts:
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