Betrayed but nowhere to go.

[FM67]

I discovered my husband had been cheating at the end of July and had been using hook up sites. He had made a profile in April but it's clear from his bio that he's been on and off the site since we met basically.
I took screen shots of the profile so he had nowhere to hide. There had been red flags before but no concrete evidence.
What I can't forgive and what has totally broken me is that in April my Mum was dying and I was spending all my spare time at the hospital. While I was there he was basically uploading dick pics, chatting to god knows who and doing the unspeakable.
I am still living with him although it is really stressful. Renting up here is nigh on impossible because of demand and I have a dog which no-one will accept.
I've been to a solicitor to try and get a separation agreement drawn up but he's being really obstructive. He saw his solicitor 2 weeks ago and nothing has happened.
I am beyond desperate. Why is he being so difficult? Hasn't he hurt me enough? I've done nothing wrong but it feels like I'm the one being punished.
Has anyone been through this? Any words of advice or comfort?
Need to chase my solicitor again if nothing happens today? What are my options?
Thanks xx

@FM67
Sorry for the loss of your mother. If you own your home together or if you are both on a lease, his solicitor has probably advised him not to leave the marital property.

If it is difficult to find rental property in your area, he would experience the same difficulties as you in securing an affordable rental. From his vantage point, he has no more motivation to move than you do, and if he is on the mortgage or lease, he has every legal right to remain in the house.

At this point, it is best not to think in terms of punishment. As difficult as it may be for you, it is best to think of this as a negotiation.

It is quite likely if neither of you is willing to voluntarily move (and your solicitor may advise you to stay in the property as well), that you may be living together for a prolonged period of time.

If you can move beyond seeing him as a cheating spouse and view him as a nuisance housemate , it may make this forced cohabitation a bit easier to tolerate.

Im so sorry for the loss of your mum x

Is the house owned or rented?

If mortgaged, how much equity? Are there any children involved?

We own the house and thankfully there’s no mortgage. I think he’s been advised to fight giving me my share even though my name is on the deeds.
No children thankfully. It’s a second marriage for us both.

I would advise you to get with your lawyer and move this along. He's not "dragging his feet" or stalling, he's making arrangements to keep as much of his assets as possible. If you sit and wait passively, he and his lawyer will be able to arrange that you end up with nothing.

There is no need to wait, you need to take the reins here. He's proven he is not the man he told you he was, you owe him nothing. Watch out for you.

Have you got a good lawyer?

You are entitled to your share, he has no say on that. Speak to your solicitor again, and if you’re getting nowhere find a new one.

Thanks everyone. Hear back from my solicitor this afternoon. Apparently he has a meeting on Thursday so we will see. I agree he’s trying to keep his assets. My solicitor seems good so far. She’s said that court is the only option left but advised against that at this stage.
You’re right- he’s not the man I married. Really showing his true colours

@FM67
You probably both think that you want your fair share. The difference will be in what you each consider to be your fair share.

Under the circumstances, he would be foolish to move out. There is no real reason for him to move out of a property that is mortgage free to move into a rental. The
same is true for you. So, logically the first person to blink will probably be the one to move.

The upside of this stalemate is that it should motivate the one of you who may be cash poor or have fewer liquid assets to be more agreeable to reaching a quick settlement.

Unless one of you is determined to be vindictive or you have some complex financial holdings , your divorce could be quickly settled.