Your thread title is going to send you in the wrong direction.
As is this "Is this a bridge that can be gapped or he just doesn’t have enough EQ to know what to say in these situations.."
The part to concentrate in is this "..I feel this will heavily impact our children from the lack of support and empathy from their father?"
You know this is a serious problem. It's stronger than a "feeling". Own it, because it's very important that you don't have a flicker of doubt on this.
Now you are an adult and a parent. Your DH is an adult and a parent. Both of you share equal responsibilities in the safe upbringing of your children. Both of you also are human and can make mistakes.
Your DH has been called out on a mistake and takes no responsibility for it, doesn't even listen to what you have to say, think about why you may be saying it. He attacks - DARVO as mentioned above - because he will not be wrong.
Do not ask "what is it in him that can't be wrong? Why doesn't have empathy/EQ? Is there away he can learn?"
Those are all questions he should be asking himself and thoughts he should be having IF his top priority is the well-being of his child(ren). He may care, but his top priority is not being seen to be wrong.
Your top priority needs to be the emotional health and well-being of your children. You simply cannot make him a better person or parent unless he wants to be. Any energy you invest in that goal is a sunk cost until he decides he wants something different. In the meantime it takes energy away from your children.
Your questions are about him, with the implicitly goal of motivating him, helping him understand or improve his parenting. I'm not criticising, I recognise it because I did those things. For years.
Focus your energy on doing whatever is necessary to provide emotional safety and security for your children. Any energy spent on them is an investment in their future well-being.
You know very well that what he's doing is harmful. And what's unfair to you about that is that it places extra responsibility on you. It's unfair, but you need to not be afraid to call a spade a spade.