Separate finances and maternity leave

[Tennisfan1]

I know that separate finances are not popular on MN, but it worked really well for us so far. I welcome everyone's contribution but would be most interested to hear from those who also happily keep finances separate.

Our situation:
DH and I keep finances separate because we have different priorities. We are both freelance, I work only 4 days per week because I value an extra day off and I don't desperately need more money. He works 6 days per week because he likes to buy things for himself (such as expensive clothes, gadgets,..) and he also supports his elderly parents a bit.
Separate finances is no issue at all for us and works really well. My chosen 4 day week doesn't impact our life together, I still take DH out for dinner, activites, and we go on holidays were I obviously pay my share. I just can't be bothered about spending money on new clothes, new phones etc...all things that only impact me. We both pay the same amount into a shared account for bills, food and joint activities.

But I wonder how to navigate having a baby:

• I won't get any paid maternity leave because I'm a freelance. I believe I qualify for maternity allowance which is about 600/month for up to 8 months, if I don't work.

• My parents very kindly offered to support me with 500/month while I don't work.

• I also have savings (more than DH, due to an inheritance).

• DH will pay for 50% of Nanny costs as soon as I choose to go back to work.

I think I would like to take 6 months off for the baby. Would it be reasonable to ask DH to share his money during that time / put more into our shared account so that I can lower my contribution? Or would this be unreasonable because I will have 1100/month available to me plus I have more savings than him that I could use to subsidise this (and I could, of course, work 5 days per week between now and the baby arrival to bump up my savings even more).

Genuinely interested in hearing thoughts because I can see why both positions might be right or wrong.

See, this is when separate finances cause all sorts of complications! Men would not be having children without a woman. So you’re doing him a most enormous favour. Why should the woman be the one to suffer financially? Once children come along, finances should be shared. All income go into a joint account, all bills come out of this account, savings come out of this account and If you must, each person have their own account and receive an equal amount of ‘spends’.
We have a set amount that we can spend on what we like. If I choose to buy an expensive pair of boots, I can. If DH wants to buy an expensive camera, he can. From our own spends accounts!

I'm married with a joint account, and it has made everything much easier for us, but I can see why other people may not want to do this.

However, is it worth you both setting up a joint bank account for baby-related things? And you both contribute towards it evenly? I.e. if you both have some savings for a baby, it would go into this, your SMP and parental gift, as well as some money from your DH - ideally the same amount as you're prepared to put towards the baby when you go back to work?

That way, you both have access to money for the baby and can buy things, book nannies, etc - without doing the whole 'oh I paid for this for the baby, could you send me half'.

i think the combined approach works - so some finances are shared, some are not. But how these are shared should be always up for debate, especially when babies are involved

for example, my husband and i have a shared account where we both put in certain amount of money for "everyday outgoings" (food, petrol etc), we have split the bills and we pay half on mortgage each

however, with baby on the way, it is no brainer that this won't work neatly like this anymore, especially since I want to take a full year off - but its something we are figuring our together, based on total sum of our income, not trying to split it equally in half

DW and I have always had totally separate finances, separate accounts, separate everything throughout our relationship and marriage, with the exception of the parental leave period where we pooled and shared the money (we did shared leave so this went both directions). I just think the income disparity is far too great, and bringing the baby up is a joint project between both of you anyway. IMO it's really not fair to keep things separate on maternity leave