my boyfriend and i have been together for over 4 years, he's 28 and i'm 25, this is both of our first proper relationship, we live together, have 2 fur babies, he's very open with his phone and social media etc, always has been, never given me a reason to doubt him, until last week.
we were going through his app store history to find this weight loss app we'd used a few years ago because I wanted to start using it again and couldn't remember the name. we get to end of 2019 on the list and I see some sort of dating app, so I take his phone and scrolled through and saw that he had downloaded a few of these apps in the first 6 months of our relationship. none of them were the mainstream apps like tinder/hinge/bumble, they were all these random apps I'd never heard of. I was so shocked because I never imagined he would've done that.
I make a note of all the names and I download them myself because I want to see what they're about. turns out they are all filled with bots flooding your inbox, girls promoting their OF, or girls looking for sugar daddies, also to actually message and swipe/like/match with anyone you have to buy coins/tokens/hearts, they were all just cash scams basically. he insists he never actually had any intention to cheat, he was just curious to see what the apps entailed because they were unusual looking and that he saw them advertised and wanted to see what it was, rather than seeking them out to use (he streams sports on dodgy streaming websites on his phone and I have seen these type of apps advertised pop ups before) , he pulls up his app store purchase history which shows what apps you've spent money on and there was no money spent on any of them. he was very calm and plainly reiterated that he would never actually try to cheat, if he was unhappy he'd have just left. I told him its hard to believe that given he had downloaded these apps, and he insisted it was a moment of curiosity to see what it looked like, no different than clicking on a website link, then delete straight after.
I don't know how to feel as this was over 3 and a half years ago?? he let me go through his phone and there was no more apps past the 6 month point downloaded. he's very insecure and hates having his photo taken, so the thought of him making accounts with his photos on seems so unlikely to me, he doesn't ever take selfies and even on his social media he doesn't post pictures of himself, just our cats and the odd pic of me really. I've always felt like I have no reason to doubt him, he's always been so open with his phone, and when I confronted him he didn't get angry or defensive he just said it how it was. I want to believe him, but its hard to factor in the context and not just take it at face value. I spoke to 2 friends and my mom and they all said that it was so long ago and in the early days of the relationship, and to not get hung up on it now, especially given he didn't do anything/meet anyone/pay to message people, sounds more likely he was just taking a look for the sake of looking and nothing more.
I'm not in denial or being naïve, I'm not just going to blindly believe him because I think that would be stupid, but I'm creating scenarios in my head now that are making me so upset. I don't know what to do.