Internet dating

[Annteeta]

Does anyone think it's odd that a man I've met online refuses to do a video call? I'd have to drive an hour to meet at a midpoint and I'd rather eliminate any lack of "chemistry" issues beforehand as far as possible. He says he doesn't do them at all not even for family. He doesn't come across as the slightest bit shy and his profile does it indicate extreme introversion!

Not odd no! I have been asked to do video calls before by men I’ve chatted to! And I also refuse. I personally I do not wish to do video calls with a total stranger off the internet pre date. Also, I can’t say I look my best on the poor quality, pixilated forward facing cameras on video calls either so I probably wouldn’t look very flattering. I prefer to meet in person, I cannot see how you can feel chemistry via a video call. I guess it’s each to their own but personally I wouldn’t find it odd.

not odd. a man online asked me to do a video call before meeting but i find them very unromantic/sterile/low-effort and something i associate with work. I wanted him to put in the least effort to meet up with me in person, even if it meant risking a wasted afternoon on zero chemistry. In your case, i'd also not want to drive an hour though. Can't he meet you where you're at? you can ask for a little chivalry.

When I've dated I've declined video calls. It's not odd, I don't want to be put on the spot with a stranger. I get why people want to be doing it though and I've been knocked back because I didn't do it. I don't feel comfortable with it and I think that's fine. Demanding it is wrong. If you're not prepared to drive a few hours for a potential partner look for someone closer.

If that's your safety protocol and he doesn't want to meet it, then just wish him well and move on. Men who are genuinely interested and have an awareness of women's safety concerns will go the extra mile even if they loathe video calls.

If they live in a bubble of male privilege where they can't possibly fathom why a woman would want to check out a man to ensure he is who he says before meeting, then I don't want to meet him anyway.

I'm prepared to drive for a potential new relationship, but not to do a 2 hour round trip only to find he's not a keeper, 5 minutes in. All this can be avoided by a video call. I can't see any reason not to do it. To me it says hiding something/ tech shy/ set in his ways....all of which is a turn off.

I don’t do video calls. I hate them and think they’re awkward. I have absolutely nothing to hide and my OLD profile is 💯 accurate

I chat on phone before meeting but thats all.

This is the excuse I get told by men though - that I have something to hide! I really don’t! I just don’t want to do video calls as they are awkward and I feel that initial contact should be saved for a date, otherwise what do you talk about if you’ve already said it all on a video call! I prefer to meet in person and see how they are in person as a person

I wouldn't like to do a video call myself as I find them awkward. Having said that if I was looking to date a woman long distance and I was really interested in them, then I may consider it, rather than driving all that way beforehand.

I agree. If to go on a date you are expected to go halves, pay for a babysitter, often even get a new outfit and drive somewhere/ get a taxi and risk meeting someone who looks nothing like their pic and sounds awful and is nothing like what they said, really we owe it to ourselves to have a video first. And that’s without any major concerns about catfishing and dangerous situations.

I don't like doing video calls before a date. But when potential dates do ask I will do a quick video call, if I like them enough.

However it's your date and if he doesn't want to do one, then he's obviously not that interested.

His loss. Bye! Next!!

I think he is being unreasonable given the distance, I would bow out now. 2 hours is also quite a distance, have you got enough spare time for that sort of relationship?