Desperate to be over him

[Stanleygirl]

So I finally ended a 4and a half year relationship 8 weeks ago after enduring some rubbish treatment over the years, lies, false promises, control lots of strange behaviours I knew it would never be any more than it was so it was time to get out…. I felt ok at the start I thought I’d be so much better off, but I just don’t I find myself missing him so much even though he was toxic for me….. I think of him loads wonder what he’s doing, I don’t and won’t message him but I’ve been tempted….. I just want to feel ok…. But I’m anxious depressed and desperately lonely I even have moments where I feel I can’t go on anymore. 🥲

i’m sorry you’re feeling so low. I know it’s a cliche but it WILL pass. I suspect you are not necessarily missing him - perhaps missing what you thought and hoped he was..?

You will be better off without him, but It’s a natural part of the grieving process to feel the way you do. But it won’t last.

Many years ago, my exh had an affair and dumped me out of the blue for the ow. We had been married 14 years and it was such a shock. I thought I would never get over it, part of me didnt want to, but I was wrong I did get over it. I can now look back and think i’m glad that happened!

just take each day as it comes. Try and keep busy, do things that make you feel good. Exercise to get rid of the knot in your stomach. Try reading Rosie Greens and Paul McKenna’s books. Listen to gloria gaynor I will survive! Lean on your friends and family for support. Above all, be kind to yourself. Know that you WILL be happy again.

I came out of a similar relationship about a year ago. I deleted his phone number etc so that I can't contact him, even if I weakened and wanted to. It has done wonders for my wellbeing

Thank you it’s good to hear that right now!

Write a list of all the disappointments and lies.
Write down all the negative things you can think of. Refer to the list as and when necessary.