Anyone else been single for years?

[BananaSlug]

I’ve been on my own for 7 years and completely celibate in that time. I genuinely don’t know how I will meet someone again now, it feels like I’ve been alone too long to meet someone now, is that even a thing? Is anyone else in the same boat and been alone for years? How did you/ do you go about meeting someone again after so long? Im starting to feel like the longer you leave it the harder it is? I’m happy to meet someone again so this isn’t about staying single or aimed at those who want to be alone.

Well if I helps I was single for nearly 23 years 29- nearly 52

I wasn’t totally celibate but almost so and never met anyone serious

i did do all the things you are supposed to do… work on myself, kept fit, lots of friends etc but did put my son absolutely first.

then walked in a bar a few months ago amd started laughing with a man v attractive mid 50s, his female mate asked me for my phone number to give to him as we had a friend in common and we’ve been dating since and definitely are committed and planning a future.

weirdly the waiting and being single made it easier for me to know he was the right one. However I have found it hard to give up my own space and ensure I’m both giving him, my friends, ds (when he visits), my life and family and exercise and work all the time they all need. I guess that’s the hardest bit

it is possible but 22 years is a long long time - I really hope you don’t have to wait so long

Single nearly 4 years. I absolutely hate being celibate but I can’t sleep with someone unless I feel a connection and I’ve found meeting someone impossible.

I miss the physical side more than anything else about a relationship. I’m actually really happy with my single life other than no sex but at 54 now I’m starting to be resigned to this being it for me.

I was single out of choice after having my son, So from 20-34.
During that time I had 3 one night stands but other than that was completely celibate. Sex toys were my boyfriend 😂
I met my now husband at 34 through online dating.

The happiest people I know have one thing in common– they're all single!!

Single nearly 6 years, two men in that time so not completely celibate but not a relationship. I hate it. I'm 46 at the end of the month and the thought of another birthday alone is really getting me down. I just find it impossible to meet men and I have an active social life and hobbies.

I had my eye on someone and thought he may have been interested as all the signs were there, but I saw him walk out the gym to his car with a female today (she looked really young so could be a daughter but my guess is girlfriend). I did have a little cry to myself.

Was single from 32 to 47! Did online dating a few times but hated it. Never got to a third date, never had sex. Worked on myself a lot, accepted I wouldn’t have kids, came to really like me and my single life. Went back OLD at the start of Covid (friends thought I was enjoying lockdown too much!) - had a couple of nightmares, but then took a chance on a guy a couple of years older with kids, and he’s been around ever since. It does happen, but my advice would be to fit your life around it, manage your expectations, and at the very least you’ll know if it’s for you or not.

3 years ive been single. I haven't slept with anyone. I dont really want to or feel I'm missing out. I spent years doing everything for men, now im doing me. I dont miss anything. I have my own life and keep busy. Ive had dates but im not too bothered atm.

Yes I've been single for ages now, barring a few coffee dates that came to nothing. I'm open to meeting someone but I'm not going out looking (ie. not on the apps or going out on the pull).

I also don't know how I'd "be" if I did meet someone that I wanted to be more than just friends with. I think I'd need to take things really slow and any man who wasn't okay with that, well, so be it and I'll carry on as I am.

Oh, I had a massive crush on a guy a few years ago (just before lockdowns). The crush saw me through the lockdowns. Bumped into him by chance in a social setting, chatted all night, came home.

And decided I didn't fancy him after all 😂

Yes - although with the caveat that I recently turned 30, and I've never actually had a relationship...

Sometimes I go through phases of thinking it'd be nice to meet someone, and experience the type of thing I never did in my 20s, because of a combination of factors.

But equally, I think when you're used to being on your own, it becomes harder to let someone into your life, because you're so self-reliant and independent. I enjoy my own space and time alone to do whatever I want. Companionship and intimacy would be nice, but I'm not sure I'm the type of person who needs it every day in order to be happy. 😆

I sometimes feel sorry for certain people you read about, like celebrities, who go from relationship to relationship without ever seemingly pausing for breath. I think being able to cope on your own is an admirable quality to have, and it's nothing to be ashamed of either.

I've been single for 20 years now, not by choice. Mostly celibate in that time too though also not by choice. It's made me really sad actually, that my "prime" years so to speak have missed out, because I became single mid 20s and I'm mid 40s now.

I've done everything I should have. Tried speed dating back in the day, went to friends weddings and dinner parties always open to meeting people. Tried online dating and apps. Have build a successful career, travelled a lot, do volunteering and have hobbies. Keep fit and make an effort to look nice.
I have a reasonable number of friends who I make an effort with though I find friendships difficult these days as I'm the only single childless one so I don't "fit" in.

I've met people I was really attracted to so I know I can feel it, it's just that those people haven't felt the same about me. Whereas others have been attracted to me and I've felt nothing for them. So in all cases, I've never got past a third date with anyone.

I still hope it will happen though! A problem I have now is that I'm embarrassed about how long I've been single, I worry that if I meet someone and they ask about it then they will think something is wrong with me and will be put off.

My DP was completely on his own for thirteen years before he met me, so throughout his fifties and into his sixties; he’d accepted it though was definitely lonely, and thought he would die like it. Then I came along unexpectedly 😆. I’m incredibly lucky, he’s a wonderful partner.

Me.

I’ve been single all my life, not always by choice, but I’ve learned (and re-learned) to be single.
I’m 37.
I’m repulsed by sex, so never had it.
And also the reason why no one ever wanted to be in a relationship with me.

Every now and then I do wonder if I’m missing out, and now I mean the love and companion part - not sex.
I’ve asked around online and mostly I’m told not to worry about - I’m not missing out on anything.
But who knows.
I’m very romantic, so that part of me never got to live and it does make me sad sometimes.

it feels like I’ve been alone too long to meet someone now, is that even a thing

Nope - don't worry about it. When you meet the right person, and that person will make you feel comfortable then it will feel natural.

@DoIDareDareIDo Have you considered a dating site for asexual people?

Single for over 5 years and pretty much celibate and happy as Larry (most of the time!)

I was single for years after a divorce, had a few boyfriends here and there and one recent serious one after many years, but am back to being single. It's not my choice. I have tried things, usual, join a gym, OLD, parties etc. Am 54. I don't want casual sex but I miss sex, intimacy and the feeling of security. Frankly even though my life looks bloody great it feels as though something is missing.

@EarthSight

Yes, there isin’t any in my country.
One facebook page, but it doesn’t have many people there and the few people who are there are hetero romantic women, so…

But thank you though!

Was single till mid 40s. Was not too bothered about meeting anyone. Had 1st relationship at 47. Another one at 50. Sadly he passed away after 2years. Found that although I was quite happy with my single life i do like having a man in my life. Might look again one day

Single and celibate since 2010. My last relationship and previous online dating experiences have put me off ever trying dating again to be honest.

4 years now, 37, single, childless and feeling completely unloveable. Christmas is the ultimate worst time of the year, nothing hits home more how far behind everyone else I am.

Starting to resent friends and their lives and how everything's panning out for them.

Completely head over heels for a woman , but she's very recently divorced and is adjusting to life in her own, a relationship will be the last thing on her mind. I also think she would never feel the same about me aswell.

Can't wait for my annual Xmas eve trip to the cinema on my own, another year to remind myself of how alone i truly am.

Single 13 years. I'm a single mum, work full time, and I found it hard to find the time to date while ds was little. Plus a lack of babysitters. Now ds is 15 I'm starting to consider looking again - if I can remember how. 🤗

I’ve been single most of my life, only had three 2/3 year relationships. My last LTR ended about 8 yrs ago, I’m now 52. I’ve given up.

Single nearly a decade. Divorced, with kids. In a busy cafe this week, I shared a table with a lady with whom I got to chat. She told me how she finally fell in love at the age of 68, got married during the pandemic, and at the age of 73 is in the full bloom of a gorgeous romance. The glow from her was palpable. Right now, with work and kids, and friends I love to see, I don’t have the bandwidth to give to a new relationship (tried, it stressed me into giving more than I had in my mental store to give), but I felt joy for her evident happiness, and it put me in a great mood. I’m happy to prioritise other things for now.

Single four years and no men in that time. I'm 35 and I just can't imagine it again 🙈I've joined dating sites had a browse and never went on again. Maybe when my children are abit older I will think about looking but right now the only thing that makes me want to look at a relationship is the thought of a 2nd wage coming in 😅.