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Original poster

Would you go on a first date with…

22 replies

HmmmmmQ · 01/10/2023 16:46

A guy who says he quit drinking 3 years ago as he was a bit of a hell raiser and he’s struggled with dating because he’s now teetotal - and apparently that makes a big difference.

he’s handsome and a good job.

thoughts?

OP posts:
MiddleagedBeachbum · 01/10/2023 16:46

Yes! Sounds a great find

SamW98 · 01/10/2023 16:50

Yes. One of my best friends partners is a recovering alcoholic who has now been sober for 12 years.

He's a lovely man who has turned his life around from rock bottom and he’s a brilliant partner.

MermaidEyes · 01/10/2023 16:54

Yes it's just one date after all. Doesn't mean it has to lead to any more. However, if you like a drink (or three) it could become an issue further down the line.

RobinGet · 01/10/2023 16:55

Yes I would. Sounds like he knew drink wasn’t agreeing with him and he’s done the right thing.

Glorifried · 01/10/2023 16:57

Depends if that aligns with your lifestyle.

I mean, if you're a pubbing clubbing sort of person then no; if you're just a moderate / social drinker then sounds like it could work well.

Purplecatshopaholic · 01/10/2023 16:58

Absolutely yes - unless you really like a drink or 6, in which case you may find you are incompatible in the longer term. He’s handsome with a good job? At least give him a chance.

StonwEd · 01/10/2023 17:03

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest and I love a drink. My best friend is tee total but doesn’t affect our friendship

SnackQueen · 01/10/2023 17:06

Yes

Orio2023 · 01/10/2023 18:26

No I wouldn’t.

PonyPatter44 · 01/10/2023 18:29

A first date is basically an opportunity to suss someone out. It doesn't commit either of you to anything. Go on your date, see what he's like. If you get a bad feeling, bin him off. If you get a good feeling, try another date.

Thebigblueballoon · 01/10/2023 18:33

Absolutely, he sounds very responsible and self-aware. But if you’re a big drinker, I don’t think it would go too far.

SpringleDingle · 01/10/2023 18:44

I would but I don’t drink once. I’d be interested to reassure myself he’d stay sober long term but I’d definitely give it a first date.

Lavenderlulu · 01/10/2023 19:03

I'm teetotal as can't mix alcohol with my medications, I was only a social drinker but haven't missed it.
I can imagine it does put people off dating as I'm not bothered if others around me want to drink/get drunk but people are really weird about it and either try to encourage me to drink or feel awkward about themselves drinking.
It maybe your incompatible with someone wanting to stay sober if alcohol features a lot in your life though. I'd give someone who was honest about alcohol issues and took action to move forward a chance though.

Incognito2023 · 01/10/2023 19:41

Good on him for being honest and upfront about past issues. Worth meeting for a first date.
How does he feel about you, or others, drinking around him?

piscofrisco · 02/10/2023 09:23

Yes

Lucious1000 · 02/10/2023 09:32

I like the fact he's honest.

I was and still am a hellraiser due to on occasions drinking to much.

I want to eliminate alcohol from my life. It's pointless and life is much better without it.

Take a leap/a risk and just see how he is. Actions not words.

EBearhug · 02/10/2023 09:40

It can make dating harder - there are those who don't want to date non-drinkers because they think they'll be dull or disapproving of you, if you do drink, or that they're fiercely religious or something.

But that goes both ways - I avoided those who indicated they liked to get pissed up at the weekend. I don't mind the odd drink, but I don't want someone who thinks you can't have fun if you don't drink.

The point of dating is to see how you get on with someone. An alcoholic history would make me wary (my mother was an alcoholic and fell off the wagon every few years,) but if all else looks good, I'd probably proceed with caution - lots of drinkers do give up successfully.

Hoppymclimpy · 02/10/2023 12:47

I've been sober for 2.5 years now. Met my partner who also happens to be teetotal. We love seeing bands, live gigs, old skool rave ...just without the booze! All of my friends drink, its not an issue- I'm a handy designated driver!
I'd say go on the date, he sounds like he's aware of himself and it sounds like he's changed his life for the better. It's one date, it might only ever be one date, if might be more!

EBearhug · 02/10/2023 12:53

All of my friends drink, its not an issue- I'm a handy designated driver!

I'm happy giving lifts and often offer (and have a partner who is blind, so little option there, if public transport doesn't work for whatever reason.) But I don't take kindly to it always being assumed or taken for granted, especially if people get really drunk.

ohsuzannah · 02/10/2023 15:32

Date yes, LTR no. I've been married to an alcoholic it's not much fun, and countless promises.
But that's just me!

GreyCarpet · 02/10/2023 17:05

Not really sure how his face is relevant 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't date an alcoholic no matter how pretty he was.

Dogsitterwoes · 02/10/2023 17:24

I'd want to know more about what he means by hellraiser.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions but doesn't change your underlying personality.

Being a late night pissed up party animal is a different type of hellraising to getting aggressive and starting fights.

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