What are signs of cheating?

[Copperfoz]

What do you think signs of cheating would be?
I think I am being really paranoid and I don't know where irs coming from.
I just have this worry that my partner is cheating.
We have only been together 2 years and definitely had some rocky patches but for a while now it's been good. Probably the best it'd ever been. He's become nicer, more caring, affectionate, sending me nice messages throughout the day or calling me just to chat. I don't know if I am been paranoid or crazy to think that means there's something wrong? He used to he like this at the very start and seems to have reverted back a bit to that
Twice I've seen him on his phone in bed very early morning, but he puts it away when he sees me move/wake and then gives me a kiss or a snuggle.
Am I massively overthinking and self sabotaging?

I think you need to worry less about 'getting it right', and more that you can't talk this through with him and get the reassurance you need. What would happen if you told him how you felt?

And what do you mean when you say 'he's become nicer'? Was he less loving and attentive before? Do you like him better now he's treating you this way, even though you're feeling unsure about things?

It could be a sign of cheating or not.

The early morning on his phone could be insomnia. I do this during the night if I can't sleep, I switch the phone off if my partner turns so as not to disturb him.

The other things may be genuine/he's happy/making an effort etc or he may be doing these things to another woman and also you. Does he have much opportunity to cheat?

It does sound like you are over thinking if those are the only things you're worried about. Look for some combinations of:
Behaviour that's out of character
Working late a lot more
Going out a lot more
Caring more about his appearance
Being secretive with his phone when he wasn't before
Mentioning a new woman at work/hobby/social circle multiple times
Calling you paranoid
Him worrying about you cheating

It does sound like you are over thinking

Don't take any notice of anybody who says this kind of stuff, OP. You are thinking to the degree that you instinctively feel you need to. If that makes you a cautious person, then that's who you are, and that's fine. You need to respond to that by respecting it, and finding yourself someone you feel very safe with.

You don't respond to it by dismissing your feelings, and following someone else's list of what they think you should be looking out for.

@BrandNewTitsAndHusbandt@Watchkeys @Planesmistakenforstars @PickleDig I think I might be over thinking. There are no other signs, it just seemed there was a change in behaviour but for the good. But I didn't know of that could be a sign of something. Maybe it could just be a good thing and I need to accept that it is good without there being an alternative motive. I just wondered if the change in behaviour could be due to something else. I will see if anything else comes to light. But for now aye I am paranoid

My ex did this..it was guilt.

If you can't talk to him about how you feel, you don't have a relationship. Are you going to tell him what you've told us, or are you going to continue bluffing that nothing is wrong, whilst scrutinising his every move, waiting for 'evidence'? Can you see how unhealthy that is? You're deceiving him, when you feel hurt because he might be deceiving you.

I received an award message off pip last Thursday and was wondering how long will it take for me to receive my backpay

@Longworth83...you need to start your own thread, this is a post about someone else's issue.

Talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling. The way he reassures you will give you a much better indication as to whether anything is up.

It's hard for any of us to really say. It could be that nothing is wrong, he is just being a wonderful boyfriend. On the hand, it could be that he's cheating and that's why he's suddenly so happy and attentive.

@Copperfoz
this book may help give examples

Affair!: How to Have Your Cake and Eat it: Amazon.co.uk: Barnes, H. Cameron.: 9781843581451: Books

Affair!: How to Have Your Cake and Eat it Paperback – 18 Feb. 2005
by H. Cameron. Barnes (Author)

At last, it's here! The self-help book that goes where no other has been before Every year, millions of people feel the need to indulge in an extra-marital relationship. Most books deal with how to spot an affair or deal with the fallout after the affair has been discovered. This unique book offers a much more realistic approach to the subject by providing guidance to those embarking on an affair. Packed with case-histories, first-person narratives, humorous anecdotes and step-by-step guidance, this book will get you through every aspect of the process.

Oh that book sounds gross!

sometimes you have to think like a cheat, to catch a cheat

And sometimes, you have to recognise that staying with someone you think might be a cheat isn't the healthiest option.

fair point, but thats the thing with presuming and guessing, sometimes its not always 2+2 etc

My point being that if you're trying to work out if 2+2=4, your relationship is already up the spout, whether it =4 or =5.

true, i understand your points better

I agree. You aren’t just overthinking. When these things are happening and they are loud to us; meaning noticeable and out of the blue. It’s so we listen to our intuition. Ask questions. If he doesn’t reassure you then he’s an ass, if he does and it’s not enough then maybe look inside a little at what you want this to be?

But do not check his phone if you aren’t prepared to leave because once you do it once you will want to do it every time to be sure. It’s a wild rabbit hold. I truly feel for you. I get the gut feelings too but when I express them he reassures me and sometimes that’s enough. SOMETIMES. Pick your battles.