I've been in a relationship for a little over three months now. We met online and immediately hit it off. We're both 30. He let me know he is divorced. No children. Upon entering into the relationship he let me know that after his divorce it left him in hard times financially, but he's trying to get back on his feet. He lost his house, is living in a crappy studio apartment. But he has a good job and works hard. He has good goals and plans. He was very upfront and honest about his marriage and why it didn't work out. He said he rushed into it, and made a huge mistake not getting to know the girl.
He said he really wants to get married and have children in the next few years, but doesn't want to rush it. He said he likes how our relationship is, and how we see each other only a few times a week,and we have our own space.
Around the three month mark, we met each other's families. I met a couple of his friends. He took me on a weekend trip away with his mom, and brother and wife. He told me he loved me on that trip. I love him too. Seeing the way he treats his family with love and care was heartwarming. He treats me so well too. On that trip, I felt we connected on a deeper level. We were together for three days. It was our first time overnight together. We bonded in a way I've never felt before. It was comfortable. I remember him grabbing my hand as we lay in bed at night. And we snuggled up a lot. We laughed a lot. We talked deeper about our lives. We were a great team.
He's always calling and texting me when we aren't together. He's very communicative. He treats me so well when we are together making me tea and making sure I'm okay. Paying for things.
Things have been fine. But I just keep getting these weird vibes.
We've started doing overnights once a week. Sleepovers. I love this. But I feel very timid, awkward, analyzing him. He's been acting sort of distant, distracted, not into me. He is always tired and down.
He told me from the get-go that he isn't a cuddly, PDA, lovey guy. So I know this. I'm very affectionate and touchy. He doesn't mind, but he just isn't.
But I feel like we barely talk anymore and aren't connecting as much.
Like recently, I stayed at his house. I want to have sex. We're in a relationship. In my past relationships, guys couldn't get enough of me.
He's always too tired, too sweaty, didn't shower, almost depressed and not into it. We haven't had sex for three weeks now. He does struggle with some ED issues too. He struggles keeping it hard. But I think three weeks is too long. Finally today we had sex after three weeks.
We hangout watching a movie in his bed. He doesn't cuddle me or show me attention. He falls asleep most nights. One night I even cried. I felt so unloved.
But then in the morning he held my hand, kissed my head a bunch. He woke up at 4am to play video games. I sleep in and then he stops playing to be with me. He makes me breakfast. We have sex. We shower, get ready. He sort of just sits around. Doesn't say much. Then I go home. He says he loves me and constantly talks to me.
But I just feel strange.
I'm sweet, kind, cute. He almost seems depressed at times and he'll tell me he feels off. I take it personally. But it's him. I get quiet and submissive. Analyzing him to see if it's me. I even considered checking his phone to see if he's talking to other women. I know he's not. He's so loyal and a great guy.
He talks about us having a future together and maybe in a year us moving in together. I like that. But then a day later he'll be like saying how he doesn't want to rush and likes how things are.
I just feel weird. At his place, I'm rubbing his back, I'm playing with his pets, I'm not sure what to say. He seems in his own little world. I'm constantly like "whatever you want"
Because I can't read him. I say what I like too at times.
When we do have sex, it's fast. No making out. He'll fondle my chest, I'll go down on him, then we do it and it's over in like 5, 10 minutes.
It's amazing, but just seems lazy.
He goes to fun concerts with his guy friends. We mainly eat dinner together, watch movies, the occasional drink at a bar, hangout mainly.
I love him and I do think he loves me, but I can't help but feel off. He's content not seeing me for a week, no sex for a week. I would see him every day if I could.
I also wonder if his behavior has anything to do with his previous marriage. I don't know.
Why cant I figure him out? Am I justified in my feelings? Is it me?