Does your partner make you feel good about yourself?

[Brokendream]

And how does that feel? (Or what’s it like if it’s the opposite?) Coming to the realisation that my long term partner dosent make me feel good about myself, and I’m not sure if he has for a long time…

I've given up trying to find a partner that makes me feel good about myself. I've found that after a while, they just don't care about complimenting or even thinking it's important. In some ways it isn't important but it's so important to feel valued and loved.

I started seeing someone casually and he actually gave me a really meaningful compliment the other day - "you're so sweet and gentle". I know it doesn't sound like much but I've gone my whole life with people only attracted to my looks and not my personality.

My hubby even after 4 children makes me feel appreciated, loved, wanted. When I'm down he brings me up, when I need help he is there and I rarely after ask. I adore my man and we always make time for each other and to chat etc even tho we have the 4 kids. We are currently on a break for our wedding anniversary and he was over the moon when I surprised him with it

@EnchantedCastle 😍 your h sounds lovely!

@Nagado ,thank you for your thoughts and comments and, yes, you are almost certainly right, she (I am male, by the way), has succeeded in crushing me to such an extent that I now have very little self esteem, confidence or self belief left. Or, more accurately I have enabled and allowed this to happen to me. As I said, I am, with some guidance from an advisor from a charitable organisation, working on myself and an exit strategy which wiĺl, hopefully, allow me to withdraw with the minimum of hurt to either party.

Feeling good about myself is my job.

@AlienatedChildGrown I 100% agree with this comment however it depends on so many factors and mental capacity. It’s so easy to start off in a nice relationship where you are going through the nice honeymoon period, and after years or months there are subtle switches and comments (or lack of) that sadly tug away at your self esteem.

This is coming from someone who had to relearn to feel good about themselves following not knowing how to because of childhood, and as an adult I feel fortunate that I have been stubborn about my happiness, to the point I chose single parenting over a very emotionally and financially abusive (but the relationship could have been great because it’s not physical abuse 🙄) relationship that was making me second guess myself.

Even then it takes so much courage to leave - and sometimes it takes friends and people around you to remind you that you could be happier and you deserve to be.

Yes.

Like most people I found out the hard way why it has to be my job.

Why I should never outsource it, or allow a romantic partner to think they get a vote in how I do said job.