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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I leave ?

6 replies

Becky000999 · 30/09/2023 12:48

I’m in 2 state of minds at the moment wondering wether I should leave because when we are good we are really good and when we are bad it’s really bad just arguing constant.
Weve been together 3 years but I’ve got a 3 year old child and a 1 year old who is his .
We spoke last night and obviously he’s been really down at the fact that my dad attacked him because my dad didn’t want him around me and then him punching my dad and marked him , then my dad calling police to say my partner attacked him but didn’t tell them what he’s done , which none of this is my fault but it’s like things get taken out on me .
Hes had days off from work because he weren’t feeling well and because I left my one year old in her cot crying in the bedroom whilst I make her a bottle and then having to sort my 3 year old out for nursery he’s shouting at me for not taking her out the cot . Then needed to go shops on another day I’ve told him if he can watch them in morning for a few mins just whilst I go quickly he moaned at me getting angry . And I’ve been depressed for so long not doing myself up we don’t go anywhere at all just all made it worse . When I’m unwell I’m still expected to do everything for the girls whilst he’s at work but he says he installs balcony’s ,his work is more intense so he needs all the rest as he works long hours etc etc …

last night he’s said it doesn’t even feel like we’re in a relationship because we haven’t been intimate with each other and I haven’t had sex with him for a month and saying my sex drive should be a lot higher for my age . I just don’t know anymore there is a lot going on really .
Just don’t know if it’s me if I should fix up or but my head is everywhere right now just don’t know myself anymore . I even wish sometimes I could just be out there getting qualifications too like what he is doing but I can’t .

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 30/09/2023 12:51

If he punched your dad he deserves to be in Prison. What are his good points.

FictionalCharacter · 30/09/2023 12:57

Read that back to yourself @Becky000999 .
He’s lazy, shouts and moans at you, won’t look after his own child, and is violent. He doesn’t sound like he even likes you. Your dad doesn’t want him around you.
What a miserable life. Get away from him.

Venturini · 30/09/2023 13:08

Oh ffs YES. Do you really need to ask? What a fucking loser. Get rid and live your life and don’t jump into a relationship with another useless prick. Raise your standards.

MNetcurtains · 30/09/2023 13:12

(Can't believe I'm about to say this) LTB, and stop having children until you're mature enough for a stable adult relationship.😡

ohsuzannah · 30/09/2023 14:23

Get out now. This man is violent and abusive 🚩 🚩🚩

Lauryn95 · 30/09/2023 15:08

When you say things are good is that when you're putting up and shutting up? Because I was in a relationship similar before and it was only good when I was putting effort in to ignore the things that were upsetting me and be positive but looking back he was still acting the same the whole time things were good and when things were bad ,that was when I was at the end of my tether with things but nothing ever changed, does that sound like the what you're going through Because if so yes definitely leave and by the sounds of it your life wouldn't be harder as you're already doing everything ,hope you are okay

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