Dp acts like things are normal/ok 🤷‍♀️

[Windmill34]

So when we have a discussion about anything to do with anything and we can’t agree dp will after a while of no answers or compromise say
” I’m not discussing it” and won’t talk to me
so I end up feeling angry because yet again it’s stalemate and anything no matter what it is never gets sorted or done

ive not spoken to him properly now for a few days, he seems fine with this and just goes about his day pretending there’s no underlying issues.
He does know deep done though because
he won’t kiss me goodnight and just go up to bed or just go out and not have conversation where his going or been.

Its like he decides what he wants to discuss and if it’s not he shuts me down with
“I’m not talking about it “
whereas I’m different I like to get things sorted so I know where I stand, then it’s done & dusted sorted

I find it very frustrating as I feel I can’t air anything for a quiet life ! and end up resenting him for it . So frustrating

This probably isn’t what you want to hear but they don’t change when like this. Unless he actually wants to.

It’s very very annoying and frustrating and it’s a case of deciding whether you can live with it or even want to.

He won't change his behaviour. Your relationship dynamic isn't affecting him like it is you.

It's time to get relationship counselling, or adjust your expectations (not a good idea) or start the process of leaving. You can't change him, so change yourself.

So he won't talk about things and you sulk/give him the silent treatment as a result?

I don't really think this is healthy behaviour from either of you.

You've got a communication problem.

Huffing, sighing and not speaking doesn't give anyone any information.

You two will have to learn how to tell each how you are feeling.
That's very different from disagreeing with the other person's point of view.

Are one or both of you putting your need to be right/dominate the other first?

Rather than 'us communicating well and trying to understand the others point of view' being at the heart of the conversation?

This behaviour is horrible. Abusive. My exH did it. Note the ex part

Some men are dreadful at communication

Send him a WhatsApp instead insisting that you’d like to put the matter to bed and not live in a passive aggressive zone for a week or two

Is it that you're waiting for his opinion or permission to do things/ make decisions?

If he won't discuss it, just do what you want to do. Those are the natural consequences for his behaviour.

I'm just going to put my experience out there , not sure if it is exactly same. But my dh is sometimes like this , he has got better been together 10yrs and since having my daughter he has got better in discussion, I pick my moments by judging his mood , to bring things up or talk about certain things, I have also got better myself at talking to him rather than at him (not saying this is what's happening just my experience) so I don't sound like I'm attacking him as such. he has dyslexia and other issues which affects all of this.
His upbringing was not the best and his relationship with parents isn't the greatest, he was never taken seriously, was taught that shutting down being quiet is how men should be shouldn't talk about things, basically Bury ur head and let things blow over, (his mum and dad still do this with family members) very frustrating to watch but it's how they are.
He doesnt react well to negative things as he was brought up in a very negative environment so it triggers things for him which I won't go in to now.

Does your partner know he's like this? Like is there a time when he's in a good mood you could ask him?
I know it sounds strange but it's like my dh goes in to moods and he is very aware wen he isn't in that mood that he does this which is why he has got better, plus I don't push for discussions of things at the wrong time anymore.

Or is it with anything at anytime? Is it even with things that he would be interested in talking/discussing or even brings up himself?

This is actually abusive.
I remember years ago a counsellor telling me that forcing someone to hold on to resentments like this is very aggressive behaviour, because nothing gets sorted out and there's an undercurrent of distress going on all the time.
I would end a relationship over this, OP.

This is emotional abuse, plain and simple. Why you would choose to live like this is beyond me. He's insufferable.

Op is giving him the silent treatment but it's all.his fault?!

And when you have these "discussions" is the problem that one or both of you are unable or unwilling to.listen tp the other viewpoint or compromise?

That's abusive.

Why waste your life on such an unhappy & unhealthy relationship?

You only get one roll of the dice, you can do better OP; honestly, even if it means being single, you won't be a living ball of resentment and frustration.