It’s a Facebook one….Jealousy?

[PunkPeach]

DP and I both have Facebook although don’t use it that often.

A couple of years ago I went on his page and he was following two local women who he (presumably) didn’t know. I asked him about it and he said he’d only done it because I had so many ‘random male friends’.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed he’d added more women he’d never met. I asked him and he said he’d just accepted their friend requests.

Last night we’d had a lovely evening. We’d shared a bottle of wine and he can sometimes become pretty unreasonable when he’s had a drink. He asked to look at my friend list (about 200 people and it’s set to private) and proceeded to question me about various men. One I was good friends with at primary school, one I used to work with and one a friend’s boyfriend, absolutely nothing in it. He got worked up saying I could be lying and ended up storming out. I’ve never accepted a friend request or added anyone I don’t actually know.

He’s been causing arguments on a really regular basis especially if he’s been drinking and I’m just sick of it.

Sorry but this is very weird behavior ... I'd be out of there

He sound like a complete dickhead OP. Has he always been like this?

I explained calmly that I wasn’t causing this tow, I’d shown him what he’s asked to see and had nothing to hide. He then accused me of being hypocritical. I don’t think it’s the same thing.

How invested are you in this relationship? Because on the face of it it doesn't sound great. Sounds like he is drinking too much, picking fights and behaving quite jealously and even controllingly.

Issues can sometimes be worked through, if you love him and consider it worth it. If you aren't that bothered tho, I would consider letting him go, before it gets any worse.

The problem is not Facebook. The problem is that your DP is a controlling cunt when he had been drinking. Either you need to leave or he needs to stop drinking!

Oh and stop asking who he is friends with on Facebook. That’s weird too - Facebook is not real life and friending random people you never meet in real life is normal.

Projecting

This is nothing to do with Facebook. It’s to do with your boyfriend’s arseholian desire to pick a fight with you

This isn’t how loving relationships should be. Both of you are being unreasonable with your social media nonsense but your partner asking to see your friends list and interrogating you about the people on there is horrible. It’s controlling and nasty. Get rid.

As a pp says, he's projecting.

So often people accuse others of things they are doing themselves. In short, he's questioning you because it's him that's likely got something to hide.

Your boyfriend is projecting. You should ask to see his fb friends and see how many women he has on there that he doesn't know.
He's trying to justify his shityy behaviour by getting in there first to "blame" you for yours.

What a twat.

Agree also, projecting.

He thinks there's a reason you have those friends and that something would happen, likely because he would actually do that. The fact he's added random women onto his because you have men on yours, shows he's looked into yours too.

So actually, he's the hypocrite by adding random women to his after seeing yours and then getting angry about it.

Sounds to me like he's manufactured an argument so he can 'storm out' to see OW.

That's controlling abusive behaviour. Get rid.

I agree with all the posts, just looking for validation I suppose.

Agree with everyone else.
This is nothing to do with Facebook.

Sounds like he is drinking too much, picking fights and behaving quite jealously and even controllingly.
All of this.

I honestly don't think it would ever cross my mind to look through DH's friends list or who he follows. It's completely irrelevant because I trust him as far as is ever possible to trust anyone, and because social media means nothing in real life.

This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship any way round.