Advice

[Lauralaurax]

I’ve been in relationship 10 years , I suffer mental health and adhd , care for my 16 year old daughter with mental health and now my partner is suffering depression but refuses help , it’s all getting to much for me the love has gone from him no care nothing and I don’t know if I’m coming or going or if I can be in this relationship no more as I’m worried about going to the dark place I went before .. any advice ?

If he won’t get the help he needs, he needs to move out and deal with it on his own. You don’t need that too.

My exact thoughts but I didn’t know if was being selfish , he’s not my daughters dad but he has no relationship with her as in talks much to her or any interest , just gets what she needs that’s it

No, you’re not being selfish.
My DH had MH problems years ago and refused to believe it was mental. He was off work and we were selling our stuff on eBay to feed ourselves and pay bills. The kids saw him very ill, and they shouldn’t have. In hindsight I should have got him to leave while he sorted himself out.

I think you need to focus on yourself and your daughter and ask him to move out. If he won’t get help things probably won’t improve for him. We all have to take responsibility for our own wellbeing and happiness, we can’t expect someone else to do it for us.

its a hard one , but when he sees what it’s doing to us and refuses to get help then I just don’t understand him , he says he loves me but he knows I can’t handle him like he is and quite ok about moving out he don’t argue about that he just goes and sleeps in his van rather than try get help

Thankyou , I told him to move out he don’t mind at all he just leaves and sleeps in his van , still refuses to get help to try save us .

He says he loves you, and he might, or he might be saying that to keep you. Only you know.
And you need to think about your DD. Home should be a safe space for her.

Yes ur right

My XH was like this. Very low, took it out on us, refused to get help. He only actually sought help when I said I wanted to separate. He made out it was our fault he was low..so I set him free. We are much happier. He has moved on. DD summed it up by saying ‘He says they are happy..but he doesn’t act like it!’.
He may not acknowledge how bad it is while he lives with you. He may never acknowledge it. But you and your DD clearly need some space from this.

He has just changed from the complete Opposit , me and my daughter both suffer mental health and he was always the fine one no problems I’m a man in strong I’m tough , he now don’t speak no emotion zero and just zero care or no love and I’m finding it so hard and he works 6 days but when he’s around I feel down

Hi , my partner of 10 years has left because he said he took on more than he can chew because I suffer adhd with slight mental health problems nothing that stops me leading a life , he loved , cared and idolised me also bought me what ever I wanted for 10 years , he now says he is depressed but won’t seek help , he really has destroyed me and I’m struggling day by day :( any advice ?

He’s made a choice to leave you and you can’t change that, all you can do is try to come to terms with it. It’s a form of grief when someone we love leaves us and after 10 years you are bound to find it very hard to get used to life without him. Be kind to yourself, try to keep busy, get support from friends and family if you can. Bit by bit it will get easier to imagine life without him.