Let me tell you a story.
I dated a guy like this. He was clearly really keen, but I felt a spider sense he wasn't all in. He never made me feel He wasn't besotted, it was more that I felt he wasn't introducing me to family and prioritising weekend plans. After six months dating - I didn't feel like "a couple".
So I ended it.
I missed him a lot, but didn't say anything as I knew he'd shown red flags for not being committed and I didn't want to be messed around.
A few months later, he messaged me and he sounded so sad. He said he missed me. He said he'd been to a big work function and kept thinking how much he wished I were there because his colleagues would have loved me.
So I agreed to meet him.
We clamoured for each other like a bloody romantic com. It was so electric and I had this absolute feeling in my bones we were meant to be together. So we got back together.
He made some changes from there on. Spent every weekend with me. Showed up to family events. He was a pretty great boyfriend. But there was still a weird feeling in my stomach because by the time we got to the two year mark I still felt like he wasn't fully all in.
Around the time I was ready to move in together, he announced that he'd been offered a job in New York on a three year contract. I was gutted that he'd even applied without telling me.
He told me it was too great an opportunity to turn down, and off he went. But he kept writing. He wrote pretty much every day and there were plans to visit and flights booked which were unfortunately scuppered by covid breaking out a week before he was due to visit.
He started to ask if I would move out and join him. It was agreed I would around the two year mark bit visiting was close to impossible with the travel bans.
Then I noticed some odd goings on with some woman on Facebook and super sleuths and to cut a long story short it turned out he'd been seeing someone else in New York :(
I remember feeling mostly angry with myself, because I'd ignored so many red flags. He was a commitment phobe. I even think moving to New York was actually about avoiding getting to intimate with me.
As for the ending of the story, he quit his job and moved home and we are together now. He's clearly devoted and almost losing me changed him completely. But he's still got issues.
The point I'm making is that our intuition doesn't usually lie. I ignored mine and ended up with a world of pain.
I do think I'm "the one" for him, I don't think any man has ever been more besotted and devoted than he is now, but God it hurt when he put me through four years of confusion and getting dicked about.