How to make custody arrangement work with one long distance or travelling parent?

[OhwhyOY]

Any divorced/separated parents out there who could share tips on how to make a custody agreement work when one parent travels a lot for work? My friend and I both have partners that travel for months at a time and were speculating about how on earth you would set up a functional custody arrangement when one parent is away at short notice for long periods of time, and can't necessarily commit much in advance to particular dates (e.g. having kids at Christmas) as they could be away. Neither of us is hoping to use this knowledge 😅but would welcome thoughts nonetheless.

You don't.

You start by acknowledging the reality that these kids have not only had their lives torn apart by divorce but also have a parent who isn't interested in staying in their lives. That kind of job is a choice--and I say that as someone with that kind of job. Then you get as much child support from the absent parent as you can so that the kids can fill their lives with enriching activities and you can afford to get help.

And most importantly, you go for full custody so that the responsible, engaged parent and the kids get to call the shots and are not constantly being jerked around.

Kids obviously need to have a relationship with both parents, but when one parent is insisting on a job that is not compatible with having kids and has also been involved in a decision to divorce, then the greater priority is stability. These kids don't deserve to have their lives upended any more than they have been already. The other parent needs to work around THEM, not expect the kids to drop everything and be available at the drop of a hat.

Honestly. You can’t make it work. The partner would be incredibly selfish to continue to pursue a career away over their own children. Plenty more jobs out there. Particularly if the children are young.

I completely agree with the above poster.