What's going on here

[annoyingme]

I fancy my boss and it's getting on my nerves. I feel guilty about it and try and avoid him.
I'm happily married but my boss drives me insane.
I can't work out his character either and he's very clever.
I don't know what it is but I really can't work him out.
Anyone know what's going on?

Is he very attractive or charismatic? If so, you've probably got yourself a school girl crush. Hopefully it'll wear off. Or maybe it's a sign that not everything is as good in your marriage as you think. Are you getting any signals from him that he's interested in you? In either case, avoid as best you can.

You like a rich, older man in power?

Yes 🙈

He's not that attractive or charismatic. He's kind, a gentleman and there are no kids at work. There's no pressure.

Dh and I have two young dc, 6 years old and I hint that I want to see more of my husband but he's usually tired/angry/worn out.

I feel like he needs a break but he never asks for one.

I hint that I want a date with him but he doesn't get the message/seems too tired.

I feel like I want more romance. To be thought of sometimes.

He's very good with the kids. I wish we had more energy. I miss him and I miss human interaction that's not constantly giving.

I know this post sounds awful and I wouldn't dream of crossing that line.

Well, that's what's happening. You want attention. You want change from your routine. You want anything other than indifference. You therefore think you want a different path. It's doldrums, it's boredom, it's frustration. He's also your boss, so there's a bit of 'save me!' dynamics going on, whether you think so or not. It's all fantasy; none of it, repeat none of it, would stand up to the harsh light of day. Gird yourself up and look at your own relationship; figure out what's tired and try to address that first.

I don't mean to be harsh; one of the hardest things to deal with in a relationship - almost harder than infidelity - is indifference, the idea that you just don't matter to the person to whom you're meant to matter the most. Grab hold of that. Discuss it. Make it change.

Is wanting attention bad?

I think, too often, men are allowed to get away with indifference. They think they don't need to care about birthdays, family members, past events - all that is someone else's (the nearest woman's) job. That total indifference, not surprisingly, adds up to the women in their lives feeling neglected. Tell him what is important. Tell him what he needs to remember. Tell him to step up. Truly caring for someone means an end to the indifference. Make him prove it. If he won't, or 'can't' (literally: who the fuck 'can't'?) - re-evaluate your choices.

No, quite the opposite of bad! That's what I'm trying to say! It's perfectly normal. In a couple, you should devote your attention to your partner and THEY SHOULD DEVOTE THEIR ATTENTION TO YOU. Not one-sided!

@Okaygoahead 100% agree. I just want to feel like he gives a shit about me sometimes not just the kids. He's really good with the kids and is a lovely dad but I feel if I disappeared he wouldn't care. He'd quite happily spend all weekend with the kids. Work the next week. Repeat.

Stop hinting at your DH and communicate about how comes across as indifferent towards you and how that is killing your feelings for him.

I have. He's said he's too stressed.

Times for couples therapy?