Hi all,
It’s a long story but I’ll try and keep it as brief (and as vague) as possible, because I don’t want to be identified.
I’m a woman in my early 20s, I met a guy (who claimed to be in his mid-30s) on a dating app earlier this year. He seemed perfect at first - quiet, quirky, apparently considerate, quite good-looking, etc. Anyway, as time went on, he started becoming really emotionally manipulative (telling me my friends and family were awful) and controlling (he wouldn’t let me break up with him). I started to think he was actually unhinged (long rambling 1000-word text messages sent at 3am in the morning), which was confirmed when I found out about his cocaine habit.
Months down the line, he revealed that he was older than he said he was — I then found out he was in fact in his early 40s. When I told him it was over, he told me he’d never tell women the truth again about his age, and sent me a cascade of abuse and veiled threats. I notice that he’s now removed all indication of his age now from the Internet.
A Clare’s Law disclosure also told me he had been taken to court for harassment by a previous girlfriend and has had a restraining order against him. He wasn’t convicted in the end though.
I’ve now become friends with that ex-girlfriend who sent me all the evidence that she had gathered against him. Some of it is truly horrific.
Now, we’re trying to come up with ways to warn other women about him, without getting in trouble for libel or harassment ourselves. Legal proceedings have obviously failed so far, and in my case, no crime has really been committed. He is still on dating apps and is almost certainly using his business to pick up young women in their 20s. Any ideas?!