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[MyHeadIsSpinning]

He isn't sure thathe did the right thing by marrying me?
We got married last year and fell pregnant almost straightaway. Baby was born prem a few weeks back but is home and doing well now.
It was touch and go at one point for both me and LO and although he won't speak about it everyone has said that DH was in bits during the events surrounding her birth.
Wehad an argument the other night and he said somethings about maybe marrying me was the wrong decision etc. I was upset and accused him of fancying someone else and he retaliated by saying that 'at least she hasn't got leaking tits and isn't fat' (god that sounds even worse now I've wrote it down )He has apologised and said he didn't mean ut and I was saying some rash things too during the argument.

But it's been preying on my mind and things have been a little distant between us since then. Today I have had a crappy day and when he came in I didn't get any sympathy he just took himself off upstairs doing his own thing and when LO was crying he accused me of 'letting her cry' as though it's my fault that she is crying tonight.

We've had a 'kind of' chat about things and he has admitted that although right now he doesn't want to split up he has been thinking about it. he can't pinpoint when he started doubting marrying me but thinks it was after LO was born.

I think he may be a bit depressed/down regarding the birth but getting him to talk is impossible. He is also prone to overanalysing situations and I'm scared he will over analyse his feelings and decide that he wants to split up .

I'm soo hurt and just as I was starting to enjoy my LO now she is home from hospital he drops this bombshell.
Any advice?

opps should start 'My husband has just told me that..'

Hi Peterduck.

I think that he is at the very least 'fed up' at the moment but think he may be a little bit depressed. There is no chance of him speaking to anyone about it. He isn't 'all life is either shite or fab' kind of person but if something isn't right and he is fed up he seems to always come to the conclusion that the solution is to leave me because he obvisouly doesn't love me enough.

Everytime we have made a big decision like getting the house, engaged, married etc he has analysed everything and takes ages to make a decison on anything!

I thought that when we got married things had changed. He seemed to be finally settled and seemed really pleased that we had got married. He even said he'd love to do it every year! and not long after at a party he told me that he hadn't realised just how much he loved me til our wedding day. However when I brought this up he denied saying nad said he can't remember the conversation This meant so much tome and know I 'm thinking it was just cos he'd had too much to drink.

He was also 110% up for having a baby and wanted to try before the wedding! but has now kind of said that he thinks we should have waited a bit - although he seems to love DD to bits.

Last night he seemed a little better with me and kissed me a few times and was more touchy feely - in a non-sexual way just being cuddly. However he is still distant and not his usual self with me.

I did have reason to doubt his commitment to me when I was pregnant on one occassion when he went out for drinks with another woman but assures me that this was completely platonic - but was going to hold the truth from me until I asked him outright if he had gone out alone with her. We were just kind of getting over this when LO arrived early. It does still play on my mind and he does see this woman everyday at work. I think part of the problem at the moment is that he is fed up with the stresses of the situation at home and with having a prem baby and work is an outlet to be who he wants and have a laugh. But it's worried that it is more and he is contemplating a relationship with this otehr woman. I've met her and think that she does maybe have a bit of a thing for him which he is probably flattered by. There is a lot of banter in the office often flirty but tongue-in-cheek.

I just feel so sad that after all we have been through I can't enjoy my baby properly at the moment because I have this hanging over me.