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Original poster

Wwyd- male colleague and his fantasies

33 replies

GotTired · 27/09/2023 22:08

It is a weird one as I keep thinking about and questioning - was my reaction good or unkind etc.
In a nutshell I had a colleague that I worked with for almost 10 yrs.He was an okay guy, i respected him for his intelligence. He had a girlfriend and Im just not interested in him in that way. Since i left and he broke up with his girlfriend he sends me text msg about his dreams where I am basically naked 🤮 i used to laughed it off but got fed up with it last week so I ignored his last text completely. I dont have many friends and I feel sad about it but also quite angry and sick. What would you do?

OP posts:
Epidote · 28/09/2023 21:08

I wouldn't reply, if he is clever enough he will know his erotic comments are far form welcome.

WickerKnickerz · 28/09/2023 21:17

"This is inappropriate. I'm not interested in you that way. In fact, I'm no longer interested in engaging with you at all anymore. You've made me feel very uncomfortable. I've laughed it before, but now Im getting really fed up of it. This is the kind of sexual harassment women have had enough of from men. Please don't contact me again as I won't be responding any further"

Then block and forget about this guy. He's not a friend, he's a creepy weirdo. And I personally think creepy weirdos should be told they're creepy weirdos and that this kind of crap won't be tolerated in silence by women anymore.

CorvusPurpureus · 28/09/2023 21:24

Catsafterme · 28/09/2023 12:14

You just need to be okay with not being able to please or be nice at times, you can't avoid it all the time, you have to be firm and stand up for yourself for your own good.

Men don't think or tick the same, for a lot the driving force is sex. That saying it's on your mind every two seconds or whatever, quite accurate.

Maybe a scale, one end nice and genuine guys and at the other end, bastards. The problem is the bastard end can act like the other end but they can't keep it up, it's not natural to them. Whereas a genuine guy would be like it consistently because it is natural.

That's the only way I can describe it as a guy myself on the nice end. Ultimately, set your boundaries and be firm because some will try to bypass, trick you or knock them down to get what they want. Genuines will not and will respect and admire those boundaries.

Sometimes you have to pretend to be a bastard to keep the bastards away.

Some bloke who doubtless thinks of himself as 'at the nice end' is precisely OP's problem.

I would save time by blocking him, & frankly @Catsafterme you're a string of scarlet bunting elsewhere on this forum, & I'd be blocking you too.

Original poster
GotTired · 28/09/2023 21:47

It must be very interesting to have a male friend. Proper friendship though and not like the colleague set up I had with this one.

All my life (over 40 now) I worked in male dominated environments. Not even once i have achieved that.

OP posts:
Original poster
GotTired · 28/09/2023 21:52

WickerKnickerz · 28/09/2023 21:17

"This is inappropriate. I'm not interested in you that way. In fact, I'm no longer interested in engaging with you at all anymore. You've made me feel very uncomfortable. I've laughed it before, but now Im getting really fed up of it. This is the kind of sexual harassment women have had enough of from men. Please don't contact me again as I won't be responding any further"

Then block and forget about this guy. He's not a friend, he's a creepy weirdo. And I personally think creepy weirdos should be told they're creepy weirdos and that this kind of crap won't be tolerated in silence by women anymore.

Yeah I do think its the way to go, let ppl learn that they do sthg wrong. I dont have an inch of a backbone in situations like this. Work, protecting my children yes there is no stopping me but personal to me stuff when I think I could hurt someone that have always been difficult for me. I guess perhaps I would make him a favour on a flip side 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
GotTired · 28/09/2023 21:57

@Catsafterme I like what you said that genuine people will respect and admire boundaries. That is so important in any kind of relationship including parent child. I believe im raising my boys to see/respect that.

OP posts:
WorkSmarter · 28/09/2023 23:08

He is in the wrong not you. Tell him by text that he's a creep then block him. Tell your colleagues or friends and show them the text. You may need back up and in no way should you cover up or gloss over his bad behaviour.
You are worth much more than this xx

Catsafterme · 28/09/2023 23:11

CorvusPurpureus · 28/09/2023 21:24

Some bloke who doubtless thinks of himself as 'at the nice end' is precisely OP's problem.

I would save time by blocking him, & frankly @Catsafterme you're a string of scarlet bunting elsewhere on this forum, & I'd be blocking you too.

Show quote history

I dunno what your problem is, you don't know me or what I am like. Just like I don't know you. However, you have shown yourself with your assumptions, no?

This scale doesn't exist it's just a way of getting across what I mean for the OP. I'm not some Messiah but I know I am a lot more decent than most guys I've encountered, my conscience is clear. I don't hurt or fuck around anyone, least of all women, hence why I am here because I've seen what a lot of men are like.

So what's you're problem, what am I too nice or something, that it's not possible, is that what your bunting reference was? What I'm somehow a bad guy, pretending to be a good guy and helping others, on a forum, in order to...?

You and I wouldn't mix anyway, you sound bitter so, no blocking required. Move on.

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